Barriers
by Wordsplat
Summary: After Iruka plays an exceptionally cunning prank on the chunnin-to-be at the chunnin exam, Tsunade is convinced Iruka should be a Jounin, and assigns Kakashi to teach him what he needs to know. KakashixIruka
1. Chapter 1

"Hey, check _her _out." A blonde ninja with a twitching senbon in his mouth whispered to his friend as he leaned against the back wall of the mission room.

"Genma…" A nin with bandages over the bridge of his nose warned. The nin stopped filing mission reports to turn and glare at the bandana'd man, "One of these days they're going to hear you."

"Chill, Kotetsu. Today's not the day, cause she didn't hear a word." Genma dismissed Kotetsu, then added with a grin, "Seriously though…get a load of that ass."

A tan young lady had just entered the room carrying a rather large stack of papers. The two nin watched as she crossed the room, not struggling in the least, despite how much the pile must weigh. She was a few inches shorter than Genma and Kotetsu, and was rather…'well-built', to say it kindly. She had long brown hair splayed over her shoulders that swished behind her as she crossed the room, and beautiful hazel eyes. However, Genma's eyes weren't on any of that. Instead, the shameless nin was slightly tilted sideways as he watched the girl's rear sashay across the room.

"_Genma._" Kotetsu hissed.

"Hey, you're new, right?" Genma asked, this time loud enough for the nin to hear him.

The lady in question raised a slender eyebrow.

"I'm Leiko-san, yes." The girl, Leiko, corrected the higher level nin without hesitation as she deposited the papers on the mission room desk.

"Shiranui Genma, at your service." The blonde disappeared, then reappeared at Leiko's desk with a poof of smoke and leaves. He extended a hand with a flirty grin.

If Leiko was impressed or put off by the display, she showed no sign of it. Instead, she calmly regarded the nin before shaking the offered hand.

"Is there a particular reason you can't walk five feet, Shiranui-san?" Leiko smiled sweetly as she shook Genma's hand.

"Ah, no…"Genma raised his eyebrows, slightly surprised.

"Hmm." Leiko nodded before returning to his papers. Kotetsu struggled not to fall off his chair with suppressed laughter.

"Shut it." Genma growled to Kotetsu, who only laughed harder. He turned back to Leiko. "So, Kotetsu told me you were the only one to pass the chunnin exams this year."

"Well, there really weren't that many applicants…" Leiko shrugged modestly as she began sorting through the papers.

"Wish I could have been there to see you. I'm sure you were amazing." Genma grinned slyly as he bent over the desk, turning up the charm.

"Shame." Leiko replied in a monotone.

"So…your name means 'arrogant', huh?" Genma gave a sideways grin, "That's funny, so am I."

"I can see that." Leiko replied without glancing up.

"…right. So, you know any of the other chunnin and Jounin you'll be dealing with?" Genma tried to salvage the conversation.

"Only you, Shiranui-san." Leiko droned, in a tone that made it blatantly clear she wished she didn't.

"Maa, just Genma's fine." Genma waved her off, not bothering to notice the chunnin's disinterest.

There was a moment's silence as he waited for Leiko to say the same. No such offer seemed forthcoming. The only sound that filled the silence was Kotetsu's incessant snickering.

"Let's get to know each other, shall we?" Genma offered smoothly as he leaned over the desk. This new girl was _hot_, and didn't seem to be aware of Genma's reputation as an…*ahem* romantically inclined individual (cough cough man-slut cough cough). She was the perfect catch…minus the whole 'obviously completely disinterested' thing. They could work past that, Genma was sure.

"I'm aware of who you are, Shiranui-san. You're a Tokubetsu Jounin, because of your impressive fighting capabilities, yet didn't make full Jounin because your lacking genjutsu abilities. You're 29 years old, your birthday is July 17th, and your blood type is A. Your usual slew of teammates include Namiashi Raidou, Hagane Kotetsu, Kamizuki Izumo, Yamashiro Aoba, and Umino Iruka." Leiko listed, "I am also completely and utterly not interested in you, and am ashamed that you don't even seem to be able to recognize a simple transformation jutsu."  
Genma's eyes nearly bugged out of his head.

It was then that Kotetsu literally fell off his chair laughing.

Genma suddenly realized it, and smacked himself in the forehead, "Damnit Iruka, that's not funny."

"Oh, you _so_ know it was." The girl smirked before disappearing a poof of smoke to reveal one Umino Iruka.

"It was!" Kotetsu agreed, barely able to speak through his laughter.

"I can't believe you fell for it though." Iruka rolled his eyes, "You've seen my Perfect Clone jutsu hundreds of times."

"Yeah, but…hello!" Genma waved his hands, "_Perfect _Clone jutsu! Why should _I _be able to see through it?"

"Because it was obvious." Iruka rolled his eyes. Who else would know all your stats?"

"Yeah, but that was at the end!" Genma protested.

"You're also missing the _really _obvious part; chunnin exams aren't until next month." Iruka snickered.

"Oh, like I'm supposed to know." Genma rolled his eyes.

"You are; you're a _judge, _remember?" Iruka nudged his friend.

"Aw, crap. I forgot." Genma cursed.

"Don't worry-Iruka's going to liven things up this year, right Iruka-kun?" A new voice contributed with a smirk as she sauntered in.

"Anko! I told you, I'm not going to." Iruka shook his head.

"Aw, c'mon, Ruru-oto! You promised!" Anko pleaded.

"What's he gonna do?" Genma's eyes lit up, and Kotetsu jumped as well.

"Dunno yet. But I dared him to do something crazy to the wanna-be chunnin, so you know he's going to." Anko confided.

"Uh, excuse me? Right here. And I said I'm not going to!" Iruka protested.

"He will." Anko nodded knowingly, "He never could turn down a dare."

"I can too!" Iruka scowled. Deep down, he knew he couldn't.

"Suuuure you can." Anko sang.

"Whatver you say, Iruka." Kotetsu agreed with a laugh.

"Uh-huh." Genma smirked unbelievingly. "Were you dared to pretend to be a girl to trick me?"

"Uh…well…I'm not going to listen this time!" Iruka finished quickly.

"Yeah, but were you?" Genma grinned knowingly.

"…maybe. But whatever! I said it was different! I'm not going to prank those poor kids!" Iruka announced.

"Sure, Ruru-oto. Sure." Anko smirked.


	2. Chapter 2

This was all such a pain.

Kakashi sighed, donning his old ANBU mask and teleporting from his guest apartment in Kirigakure to their exam arena. He wasn't technically an ANBU anymore, but Konoha was short-handed, and they couldn't exactly have the Hokage appear at a foreign chunnin exam without an ANBU guard. Thus, Kakashi, being a skilled ex-ANBU, had been asked to step up.

"Lady Hokage, if you're ready?" Kakashi gestured forward, and Tsunade nodded.

She was going to talk to the Konoha participants, wish them luck, etc. She and Kakashi led the way, and the Konoha proctor, Mitarashi Anko, followed close behind. Originally the other proctor had been Shiranui Genma. However, Anko had requested to take over his position a few days ago-something about needed a front row seat-and he turned her down. But mysterious circumstances involving feathers, pins, and the color purple had caused him to hastily pass off the position to Anko, something Kakashi thought they should to look into, but Tsunade had dismissed laughingly as politics.

While Kakashi had been thinking, Tsunade finished her talk with the genin. She started to move, and her movement triggered something. Her foot sunk slightly into the ground, and there was a flash of light. Kakashi wasted no time in rushing forward. Faster than you could blink, Kakashi had safely teleported Tsunade to the other side of the arena, and was now crouched protectively in front of her, kunai drawn. The kids went berserk, of course.

Lights flashed rapidly now, different colors and in different areas. Kakashi, realizing that the arena was rigged, teleported Tsunade again, this time into the Kage's box. He returned himself to the arena, and began to analyze the situation.

There were, from what he could see, twelve traps. There were eight contestants, four proctors-one from each village; he could do the math. Anko and the other proctors had moved to the outer zone of the arena and were holding their positions. Good. They had splotches of white paint on their foreheads, but…he could worry about that later.

The wanna-be-chunnin were doing a little worse. Two were running around crazily with no sort of pattern, two were crying hysterically, two were watching him, and two were screaming loudly about conspiracies. The oddest thing was, they each seemed to be painted different colors. Each had a large splotch of paint on their forehead, and from what Kakashi could tell, there were four types: the crazy runners were red, the hysterical criers were blue, the ones watching him were yellow, the screamers were gray.

"Genin, face forward." Kakashi ordered, and they all turned.

However, if wasn't quite as simple. Some turned backwards, some to the left, others to the right.

"I said face forward! Now is not the time to mess around!" Kakashi barked.

The red kids instantly reacted by yelling all sorts of profanities at him. The blues broke down crying again. The yellows apologized profusely and tried in vain to face forward. The grays started muttering about conspiracies.

Kakashi blinked in surprise. What the hell was wrong with these kids? He stepped forward to find out, and was rewarded with a bright flash of light and a splatter of paint on his forehead.

He would find out who set this up if it killed him.

~.~.~.~.~

"Oh shit…" Iruka muttered.

"What? That was brilliant!" Kotetsu cheered, munching on popcorn as he watched Kakashi try and deal with the insane genin.

"I got Kakashi." Iruka sighed, shaking his head.

"So? That's a bonus if you ask me." Izumo laughed from the other side of Kotetsu.

"It is…" Iruka admitted with a grin, "But now I'm going to be caught."

"How so?" Kotetsu frowned.

"You think Kakashi will take being pranked lying down? I doubt it." Iruka snorted.

"Oh…" Kotetsu and Izumo chimed in unison. "Shit."

"Yeah. Shit." Iruka hung his head. "Tsunade is going to _kill _me."

"Hey, at least you didn't get her." Izumo shrugged.

"Yeah, then you'd _really _be dead." Kotetsu laughed.

"Hey, what did it _do _exactly? Don't get me wrong, this is hysterical, but why are they acting like that?" Izumo pointed at the way the genin were freaking out.

"Red is like crazy energy. You get angry easily, you have a lot of energy. Blue is super depression. A lot of crying, hysterics, etc. Yellow is a teacher's pet, loves authority, and gray makes you think everything is a conspiracy. And they're all confused about direction. Depending on the color, they might think left is up, right, or down. There's a pattern, and if they're smart they can figure it out. But white…" Iruka grinned mischievously, "White is just random. No understandable pattern. It was for the proctors and the Kages, so I couldn't give them the easy ones, they'd figure it out."

"…you're _evil_. Kakashi is going to kill you." Kotetsu burst out laughing.

"If he can catch him; he'll be too busy tripping over his own feet!" Izumo laughed.

~.~.~.~.~

After Kakashi calmed the psychotic children down enough, and a scan of the field for more traps was processed and found negative, all shinobi present were forced into the arena. The Kirigakure genin were removed from the scene immediately, and all other genin were handed off to their village representatives.

Now, they were waiting in line as each group was passed through security. Security was pretty impressive, too, though that was to be expected. Kirigakure was well known for its obsessive paranoia, and the village despised the security breach presented at chunnin exam times; now they had an excuse to really step it up.

First you had to sit in a room with your fellow nin and be generally questioned by Kirigakure nin. Of course, Kirigakure ANBU were present throughout the whole thing as backup, but they never really spoke, they were only there in case a nin freaked out and launched an attack. Then, if the chunnin questioning you as a group weren't 120% satisfied, you were all sent to individual rooms for one-on-one questioning with a Jounin interrogation specialist. Excluding the Kage, of course, because no single village can investigate a Kage at random. It requires at least two villages Kages agreeing that they the other is a threat, a shitload of paperwork, and at _least _two weeks time, which Kirigakure did not have.

Now, Konoha _had_ been second in line after the group from Sunagakure, which had passed through quickly, since it consisted only of Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro. However, when they started their group interview, Ibiki had attempted to use an intimidation trick to speed things along. It would have worked too-it was obvious the chunnin talking to them had been scared shitless-but Kirigakure had pulled their best T&I guy, who managed to recognize the trick. Instantly, they were sent to the back of the line for further questioning once the other villages were passed.

Kirigakure was treating this like an S-class security breach-for someone to have gotten into the arena without Kirigakure's knowledge was unthinkable to them-and believe you me, a paranoid village like Kirigakure takes S-class security breaches pretty damn seriously. All Kirigakure citizens had been swept away from the scene, the arena had been inspected by numerous of Kirigakure's trap experts, and even certain Kirigakure nin were held in suspicion.

It didn't help Konoha's image that they had brought a large team this year. Kirigakure was a dangerous village, and Konoha wouldn't risk bringing anyone who couldn't handle it, so generally it was only Jounin that ended up going. This year, however, a few people Kakashi had seen around the mission room, Hagane Kotetsu, Kamizuki Izumo, and Umino Iruka, had been permitted to come along for various reasons.

The other villages had only brought a single team's worth-their Hokage, a bodyguard, a representative/proctor, and one or two others that had wanted to come along-whereas Konoha had brought a full seven people. Not unprecedented, though a little unusual. It was mostly Kotetsu and Izumo that made the difference. Tsunade came because she was the Hokage, Kakashi as her bodyguard, Anko as their representative/proctor, Ibiki to study the other village's exam, and Iruka to learn more about how other village's children were taught. That was five, a perfectly average number for a Kirigakure chunnin exam, and a very efficient team. Kotetsu and Izumo, however, had just wanted to come along for the ride, claiming to "protect the Hokage"…because, of course, the legendary Sharingan no Kakashi wasn't enough.

Right.

Finally, Konoha's team was ushered into the interrogation room again. Kakashi and Anko had to immediately sit down, since they would be no help as far movement went. They worked on trying to figure out a pattern in their disorientation, while everyone else tried to settle the kids down and pay attention to the mist nin in the room with them.

"Now, seeing as you're the final team left, not to mention you tried escape before-" The first chunnin, a teenage girl with a long black hair and emerald green eyes started to inform them, but Tsunade cut her off.

"We didn't try to escape! How dare you-!" Tsunade began, but was stopped by the Interrogation specialist that had caught them before.

"Kaori, if you will?" He gestured to the door, "I'll handle them."

The girl, Kaori, nodded once and turned to leave.

"He'll handle us? Oh no, oh no, oh no, he's gonna kill us! It's a conspiracy, this all was, just to get us alone so they can _kill _us! Oh kami, he's gonna kill us!" The gray genin started shaking.

"Nu-uh! Tsunade-sama will save us, right Tsunade-sama?" The yellow genin glomped onto Tsunade's waist and hugged her tight.

"Yeah, yeah, just keep walking, ya little Kiri bitch, just keep walking! Tsunade-sama woulda whooped yer ass anyways!" The red genin taunted Kaori.

Before he could blink, a hand lashed out at his face. He had no hopes of stopping it, and he only had time to squeeze his eyes shut in fear of the blow. It came within an inch of his cheek.

"It's illegal to strike out at another village's nin during a _peaceful _investigation, miss." Iruka informed her solemnly, a hard edge in his voice.

The red genin blinked his eyes open to see his old sensei standing in front of him protectively, his hand in a tight grip around Kaori's wrist.

"Yeah, bitch!" The red genin cheered obnoxiously, "Way to fucking go, Iruka-sensei!"

"Watch your language, Hotaru!" Iruka turned on the child sharply, releasing the girl's wrist.

"In Kiri, we kill brats for less than that." Kaori spat at Iruka with digust.

"_Kaori._" The interrogator warned.

"Yeah, I'm going." Kaori shot one last glare at Iruka before leaving.

"Woo-hoo! Fuck that bitch, Iruka-sensei was shitting amazing! You were so damn fast! Teach me how to do that too, huh sensei? Huh? Huh?" The red genin, Hotaru, pleaded.

"I told you to watch your language!" Was Iruka's immediate reply.

"Hah! They may be out to get us, but maybe with Iruka-sensei on our side we can overpower them and escape our captors…fu fu fu…" The gray genin muttered to himself.

"Wow, Iruka-sensei! You were like _so_ cool! When you did that thing, and then the other thing, and you were so fast, I didn't even see you move! And then you totally scared that girl off, and you're like _awesome _sensei!" The yellow genin discarded his hold on Tsunade in favor of Iruka, tackling him with glee.

"Would you _please _shut them up?" The interrogator rubbed his forehead.

"I'm surprised you don't know this trick yet." Ibiki smirked before walking over and placing a hand on the red genin's mouth. He channeled chakra into his palm, and the child was instantly silent. His mouth gaped open, but he couldn't find words. Ibiki continued this with the other children before clapping the interrogator on the back, "Feel like getting us out of here, Shi-chan?"

"Shut up, Ibiki. It's Shisou; call me Shi-chan one more time and I'll have your ass thrown in prison." The interrogator, Shisou, glared.

"Try it, Sou-kun." Ibiki gave a somewhat feral grin.

"This is getting good." Kotetsu whispered to Izumo.

"You bet it is. You think he's gay or somethin'?" Izumo whispered back.

"Nah, Ibiki's not really the gay type. Besides, I think he's got a vibe for Anko. Iruka-kun though…"

"For sure. Guy needs to admit it and get laid."

"Agreed. Who you thinking?"

"Raidou? They're kinda friends, right?"

"So are me and Iruka, but that doesn't mean I wanna fuck him."

"Good point. Let's see...who else..."

"Someone want to tell me what's going on here?" Tsunade raised an eyebrow at Ibiki and Shisou, who seemed to be engaged in a glaring contest.

"Yeah! How do you know Ki-kun?" Anko perked up. Ibiki made a cutting motion across his throat, but it was too late. Shisou burst out laughing.

"K-ki-k-kun!" Shisou struggled to say, but he was laughing to hard to be coherent.

"Thanks, Anko. Remind me to kill you when we get back to Konoha." Ibiki turned his killer glare on her. She seemed impervious to its usual deadly effect.

"That's what you always say." Anko waved him off with a laugh.

"You think that's bad? She calls me 'Ruru-oto'." Iruka snorted.

"Yeah, well at least with you she doesn't ruin a perfectly good 'intimidating' persona by calling you _Ki-kun." _Ibiki groaned.

"You know you love me!" Anko stood, and wobbled her way over to Ibiki and Iruka, and managed to wrap an arm around each of 'her boys'.

"Don't touch me." Ibiki deadpanned, shoving her off immediately.

"Sure we do." Iruka just patted her head in fake agreement before helping her sit back down again with a laugh when she tripped.

"See, see? Ibiki's totally straight. If he was gay like Iruka-kun, he wouldn't be uncomfortable when she touched him. Iruka didn't care." Kotetsu pointed out.

"Yeah." Izumo nodded, processing the scene while trying to think up a match for Iruka.

"_Anyway!_" Ibiki growled, calling for attention. "Shisou, can you get us out or not?"

"Sure thing, _Ki-kun._" Shisou grinned, then ducked when Ibiki aimed to punch him. He wasn't really trying, and ended up settling for knocking Shisou over the head. "Okay, okay! Anyway, they're only holding you cause they think it's an attack. It looked more like a prank or something to me, but hey, whatever. Anyway, we've probably wasted enough time for them to think I actually interrogated you. Go on out. See you later, Ibiki."

"Thanks, Shisou. I owe you one." Ibiki grinned, leading the way out. Once they were outside, they headed for the gate, Kakashi reluctantly leaning on Kotetsu and Ibiki helping Anko. Tsunade opened her mouth, but before she could even ask, Kotetsu and Izumo jumped in.

"What was that?"

"How do you know him?"

"Torture and Interrogation meetings. All Chief Interrogators have to meet once a year to decide what is and isn't 'officially' allowed as far as interrogation goes. To be honest, we all know that's bullshit and it goes out the window the second you get a prisoner anyway, so a lot of the meeting time is spent hanging out and passing time." Ibiki shrugged.

"State your business!" The Kirigakure gate guard announced as they approached the gate.

"Leaving." Tsunade responded.

"How many?"

"Myself-the Hokage-one Jounin, two Tokubetsu Jounin, three chunnin, three genin."

"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I can't let you do that."

"Ex_cuse _me?"

"There was an attack on the village during the chunnin exams, and-"

"Attack? Are you freaking kidding me?" Anko blurted.

"That was nothing more than a light show." Ibiki scoffed.

"We're uncertain of that, at the moment. And seeing as you're the only village left to be cleared, one might be inclined to believe that you were responsible for the attack." The guard accused. If he had known anything about Konoha nin, however, he probably wouldn't have done so.

"Why you little-! I oughta come up there and kill you myself!" Anko growled.

"You can't accuse us of that!" Ibiki barked.

"You can't blame us, it totally wasn't even an attack!" Kotetsu whined.

"Nobody even got hurt!" Izumo agreed.

"I can_ assure_ you_," _Tsunade spoke in a calm and deadly voice; the Konoha nin quieted instantly. "That if any one of my fine, _talented_ shinobi here tried to attack your village, it would look a hell of a lot different than a few colored paints and some light bombs."

"Look, miss, we're just trying to-"

"Don't you '_miss_' me! I'm so old, your _grandparents _were looking to me for advice, you little brat!" Tsunade snapped.

"_Look! _We have _rules, _I can't just let you through!" The guard repeated, a hint of a snarl creeping into his voice. Kakashi took this as a bad sign; Kirigakure nin were well known for being quick to resort to violence. "Now if you don't return to the arena, I'm going to have to take you there by force."

"I'd like to see you try, you little-!" Anko exclaimed, but was stopped by Shisou's sudden appearance. He gently placed a hand on Anko's shoulder.

"Relax, Anko. I'll handle this." Shisou attempted to calm her. Anko just shot him a weird look that clearly said 'think twice before touching me again'. Shisou just chuckled before turning to the guard, "You aren't detaining our guests, are you?"

"Of course not, Shisou-sama! I'll send them on their way! I was unaware that you'd cleared them…" The guard hastily did a 180, stammering an excuse before bowing to the Konoha nin, "My apologies to you all, please continue on your way."

"Thanks, Shi-kun." Ibiki said nonchalantly.

"No problem, Ibiki." Shisou waved him off. Ibiki paused, and cast a sidelong glance at his friend.

"Uh-huh. Well, I'll be seeing you around then." Ibiki nodded to Shisou.

"Yeah you will." Shisou grinned, "In fact, how about I lead you guys out of our part of the woods?"

"You really don't need to-" Tsunade began to wave him off, but Ibiki held up a hand.

"No, let him. I'd like to have a word with him, actually." Ibiki smirked. Tsunade shrugged, then nodded her approval. They started out of the village.

"Hey! Hey!" Izumo poked Kotetsu.

"What?" Kotetsu whispered back.

"What about Genma? He's always flirting with Iruka in the mission room." Izumo suggested.

"Genma flirts with everyone; that's just Genma." Kotetsu said skeptically.

"Yeah, but he always goes straight for Iruka, even if one of us is there too." Izumo pointed out.

"True..." Kotetsu still wasn't convinced. Iruka needed to get laid, but that didn't mean they needed to settle for anything less than the best when setting up their friend.

"Wait, Genma _is _gay, right? I mean, I always got that vibe, but..."

"Genma's not really concerned about titles. He just does it with anything that consents." Kotetsu snorted.

"Well...maybe not then. Iruka deserves better than that, don't you think?" Izumo frowned.

"Definitely. Give me a few more minutes…I'm sure I can find someone good enough for Iruka-kun." Kotetsu nodded.

"Shisou-sama! Shisou-sama!" The guard called after the group, leaving his post to chase after them. "I'm sorry if I'm out of line, sir, but I really don't think that's a good idea…we _are _under attack, after all…and I'm sure Mizukage wants to talk to you about your assessment of who's responsible…" The guard tried to explain, but Shisou turned around and shot the guard a chilling look.

"That was _not _an attack. That was nothing more than a little prank, something that will probably wear off in a couple hours time, just you see. This all just a huge over-reaction." Shisou rolled his eyes, and turned and walked out the gates with the Konoha team.

"Hey, Shisou-sama." The guard called after him, his voice different than before. Less hesitant, more suspicious.

"Yeah?" Shisou shot a glance over his shoulder.

"What's my name?" The guard narrowed his eyes

"Uh…" Shisou's eyes widened.

Then things sped up.

Next thing anyone knew, Shisou was roughly shoved backwards. He blinked at the scene before him in surprise; he hadn't even seen the guard move. But now, Kakashi was an inch away from him, holding back the guard, who had palmed two kunai and come after him. Kakashi had moved between him and the guard, and grabbed both his wrists painfully tight, to the point where the guard had dropped the kunai in pain. Kakashi seemed to be calmly regarding the other, but Iruka noticed his dark glare.

"How _dare _you attack your teammate." Kakashi's voice was low and dangerous, and he released the guard's wrists with a flick, jerking them so that the guard was pushed backwards.

"You're not getting away with this-I'm calling the alarm!" The guard hastily ran off, sufficiently scared silly by the pissed off ANBU.

Kotetsu and Izumo shared a look. Then they glanced at 'Shisou'. Then at Kakashi protecting 'Shisou'. They locked eyes again and grinned wolfishly.

"Kakashi." They declared at the same time.

"Huh?" Kakashi turned to them in confusion.

"Nothing." They chimed innocently. 'Shisou' shot them a dark look that said 'don't even _think _about it'. They, of course, ignored him.

"…" Kakashi stared at the duo suspiciously before shaking him head in dismissal and turning to Shisou. "Care to tell me what that was about?"

"You didn't figure it out?" Shisou's eyes widened, then he broke into a grin.

"Figure what out?"

"That's not Shisou." Ibiki smirked.

"It's not?" Anko blinked, then got it. "Damn it, you get me every time!"

"What the hell are you people talking about?" Tsunade's eyes narrowed at her obviously insane team.

"Kai." 'Shisou' disabled the jutsu, and there was a slight poof of smoke that revealed Iruka.

"You sneaky little bastard!" Anko grinned affectionately, pulling Iruka into a headlock and giving him a noogie.

"Effective." Kakashi complimented reluctantly. The cool dismissal was sort of ruined when he tripped again and had to be caught and helped to stand by Kotetsu.

"Very effective…how did you create such an exact replica, if you've only met him once?" Tsunade questioned. Iruka managed to shove Anko off long enough to answer.

"Perfect Clone Jutsu. It's my family's secret technique. I see someone for a second, and I can henge into or create a perfect replica. My chakra also changes completely; the technique is invisible to the Sharingan and Byakugan." Iruka grinned, moving forward and tapping Kakashi's hitai-ate where it was pulled down over his eye, "Even with your eye revealed, you wouldn't have known."

"How did you know?" Kakashi frowned slightly under his mask at not figuring it out. He gestured to everyone but himself and Tsunade. "Could you all see a difference?"

"He's tricked us with it plenty of times, but to be honest, we still can't tell." Izumo shrugged.

"I only knew because Iruka disappeared right before Shisou appeared, and I knew about Iruka's ability. Contrary to popular belief, I can put two and two together." Kotetsu smirked.

"I knew because I called him Shi-kun and he didn't try to kill me." Ibiki chuckled, before turning serious, "But other than that…Iruka, that replica was nothing short of amazing."

"I agree…" Tsunade examined Iruka, deep in thought.

That was a bad sign.

Nearly as bad a sign as the looks Kotetsu and Izumo kept shooting him and Kakashi.

Iruka resisted the urge to groan; this was not going to end well for him.

~.~.~.~.~

Konoha's return team found themselves stuck with two Jounin unable to take even one step in the direction they wanted to go, and three of the defective genin. It was going to be a long trip home. The group may have been large for a chunnin exam, but traveling-wise, the size wasn't too bad.

The Umino guy was who Kakashi generally handed his reports into and got missions from; he was, Kakashi had to admit, beautiful. A nice guy, too. But he wasn't Kakashi's type…a little too by-the-book for Kakashi's liking.

"Alright, Iruka. Undo it." Tsunade sighed as soon as they were out of Kirigakure borders.

"Huh?" Iruka blinked widely. Kakashi raised a single eyebrow. The straightedge sensei? As if.

"I know it was you; that whole prank had 'Umino Iruka' written all over it. Plus, Kotetsu and Izumo couldn't stop laughing the whole way out of Kirigakure." Tsunade pointed out. Iruka glared at the duo before turning to Tsunade innocently.

"Can you prove it?"

"Of course I can't prove it. It's you." Tsunade rolled her eyes. Iruka raised an eyebrow, and she continued, "What? You think I haven't read your files?"

"Heh…" Iruka sweatdropped, well aware of the short list of pranks he was connected with, and the far longer list of unproved ones.

"Fix it. I'm not traveling home with _that._" Tsunade pointed at the genin, Kakashi, and Anko.

Anko was stumbling around, trying to make sense of her movements, the red kid was yelling profanities at her for pointing at him, the yellow kid was glomped on to Kakashi's leg despite his attempts to remove it, and the grey kid was sitting cross-legged on the ground, mumbling about conspiracies and mapping out how everyone was involved in trying to kill him.

"…if I fix them, would it not go down on record that it was my fault?" Iruka grinned.

"Yeah, yeah." Tsunade waved him off, "Just _fix _them already. They're driving me crazy."

"Alright, alright." Iruka chuckled.

Iruka moved from kid to kid, pressing chakra into each child's forehead. One by one, they relaxed, and the paint peeled right off. Iruka moved onto Anko, who grumbled about not being warned, and then finally Kakashi.

"Does it only respond to your chakra?" Kakashi asked finally.

"No. It's…well, there's a secret trick to it, but if I told you, it wouldn't be a secret, now would it?" Iruka winked as he peeled the paint off of Kakashi's hitai-ate.

"…why did it effect me if it only hit my hitai-ate?" Kakashi settled for asking, instead of what he wanted to ask, which was, _who are you and what have you done with mission room Iruka?_

"The chakra in the paint soaks through your hitai-ate and forehead into your brain to change your nerves and the way they connect. It disconnects and reconnects them randomly every other nanosecond to confuse your system." Iruka informed him with a smile.

"Why the hell aren't you a Jounin?" Ibiki frowned.

"…that's a good idea…" Tsunade murmured thoughtfully.

Both the information and Tsunade's murmured idea-which should have set off alarms in his head-completely passed him by; he was too busy watching the sensei smile. It seemed there was more this guy than Kakashi had originally thought.


	3. Chapter 3

"Hokage-sama?" Iruka asked nervously, hesitantly opening the door to the Hokage's office bare centimeters.

He'd been called here yesterday as well, a few hours after they got back from Kirigakure. She'd slurred something at him about "dumb-bat Jouneen basterds" needing new recruits for their "stew-peed adventuras" and "one-eyed cycloptical peoples" being tutors, of all the "riddiculilious thingy-ding-dongs!" before chucking an empty sake bottle at him. When he'd caught it and tried to approach her again, he'd been attacked with the other three bottles, the scrolls lying around on her desk, and a multitude of pens. He'd finally admitted defeat and made his hasty retreat when a stapler missed his forehead by a nanometer.

So you can see why he was hesitant to open the door.

"For Kami's sake, Iruka, come in. I won't bite." Tsunade announced with a roll of her eyes.

"Only try and impale me with a stapler." Iruka pointed out.

"We all have our moments." Tsunade shrugged him off before motioning for him to take a seat. "Sit, sit. We have something to discuss, as soon as a certain someone decides to grace us with his presence."

"You called for me?" A familiar voice grinned from outside the window as Iruka sat down.

Iruka mentally matched the voice to a name: Hatake Kakashi.

Iruka thought over what he'd been told about the man…

He was a genius. He made chunnin young. Eventually became famous ANBU Captain Hound. Has a single sharingan eye. Always wears a mask. Called the Copy Nin, Sharingan no Kakashi, etc.

Iruka thought over what he'd learned about the man via personal experience…

He was lazy. He turned in awful reports. He read porn in public. He always slouched. He was constantly late. According to Naruto, he ignored his students as well.

Despite what others seemed to think, Iruka's opinion of the man wasn't very high. Though, he did have one thing going for him, he had saved Iruka from the Kirigakure gate guard after the chunnin exams. He'd also done it without even realizing it was a Konoha nin he was saving; that showed a certain level of decency, at least.

Still.

"Yes, Kakashi, sit down, we were just getting started." Tsunade motioned.

"Wait, you were?" Kakashi blinked in confusion. He stopped, halfway across the room.

"Hai. Sit." Tsunade motioned again.

"But you said to meet here four hours ago." Kakashi still didn't move to sit down.

"I told _you _to meet here four hours ago. I told Iruka to meet me here now. Funny how that wor-_don't you dare go back out that window, Hatake!"_

"Yeah, yeah." Kakashi grumbled, before taking up his usual slouched position standing behind the chairs. He leaned forward, and rested his forearms on the back of Iruka's chair lazily. "What mission could you possibly assign a chunnin schoolteacher and an ex-ANBU?"

"Hey! Just because I'm not a Jounin doesn't mean I'm not a perfectly capable shinobi!" Iruka turned to face Kakashi, annoyance clearly written on his face. Kakashi was well-trained in keeping his emotions, and his mask helped, but he found it hard to control his surprise. Who knew the boring chunnin could be hot when he was angry? He should anger the guy more often…

"Kakashi, cut it out. Iruka, cool it." Tsunade looked at them each in turn. "If you two have problems, that's only going to make this mission a hell of a lot harder."

"What's the mission about?" Iruka asked curiously, focusing on something other than that annoying Kakashi.

"Iruka, you have the capabilities to be a Jounin. I thought so before, and you confirmed it at the chunnin exams. Your Perfect Clone Jutsu is an amazing skill, and your records…" Tsunade trailed off, flipping through a few sheets of paper before finding the correct one, "Your records say that your chakra control is pretty impressive as well. According to this, your Academy sensei said you had the best chakra control he'd ever seen, and your genin sensei said you had better chakra control than he did. That's quite a compliment for a genin, and I'm sure it's only gotten better."

"That's all great, but really, Tsunade-sama, this is unnecessary…"

"No, it's not. We're low on Jounin at the moment, as I'm sure you're aware. The war generation is Jounin age, and not many of them lived very long. Anyone with the capability to be a Jounin should and will be promoted. The Jounin exam is in one month; it's not as much time as I would have liked to give you, but I'm sure you'll do just fine. I expect you to be fully prepared in the time you've been given, understand?" Tsunade informed Iruka in a clipped, professional tone. She was in Hokage mode.

"What? I don't want to be a _Jounin!_" Iruka exclaimed in protest.

"I'm sorry Iruka, but you don't have a choice. Unless you're hemaphobic, a pacifist, or afraid of ninja, I'm sorry, but you're just going to have to deal with it." Tsunade shrugged.

"I hate to interrupt, and I get the feeling I'm going to regret asking this, but…" Kakashi drawled, "Why am I here? I'm already a Jounin."

"Exactly. That's why I'm assigning you to help Iruka. You won't be his sensei, so much a partner, or a trainer. You're going to help prep him for the exams; find out his weaknesses and help him get past them, build his general endurance level, etc. I expect you two to train at _least _five times a week, you hear me? I'd like you to train everyday like a genin team, but I know better than to expect that of Hatake." Tsunade rolled her eyes.

"Why me?" Kakashi protested.

"Why him?" Iruka complained at the same time. They shot each other a glare.

"Do you have someone better in mind?" Tsunade raised an eyebrow.

"Well, no, but I'm sure you could at least find someone he knows, and-" Kakashi tried to reason.

"Umino Iruka, meet Hatake Kakashi." Tsunade gestured to Kakashi, "There you go. You know each other. I'll expect you at the exam, you hear me? Now go on, get out of here." Tsunade waved them away impatiently.

"Fine." Kakashi scowled, running a hand through his silvery hair, "Just…meet me at the bridge in five minutes, alright?"  
"Sure." Iruka agreed amicably with a good-natured smile.

Had Kakashi known Iruka a little better, he would have seen that as the warning sign it was, and not been three hours late. Or late at all, really. Because though anyone who knows Umino Iruka knows that he is not to be messed with ever, anyone who _really _knows Umino Iruka, knows that he is _never _to be messed with when he is smiling.

Ever.

~.~.~.~.~

"…" Kakashi closed his eyes shut and counted to five.

Nope. The homicidal rage was still there.

There would be hell to pay when Iruka arrived.

"Hey Kakashi-san." Iruka grinned, walking up the bridge nonchalantly.

"…" Kakashi counted to five before answering in a pitiful attempt to gain self-control. When he finally spoke, it was through gritted teeth and a false smile. "Why, pray tell, is my ass not budging from this bridge?"

"Because the bridge is covered in chakra glue." Iruka responded simply. "Or, at least your usual spot is."

"Believe it or not, I actually managed to figure that out on my own. Care to tell me _why_?"

"Not so fun waiting for someone, is it?" Iruka smirked.

"When have I ever made you wait? I barely even know you." Kakashi protested with a scoff.

"Think a little harder." Iruka deadpanned, "Does a certain blonde come to mind?"

Kakashi's jaw dropped.

"Are you telling me I _dated _you or something when you were in that Perfect Clone jutsu thing?!"

"No, you dumbass!" Iruka snapped, "I wouldn't date _you!_ I'm talking about Naruto, you moron!"

"Oh." Kakashi sighed in relief. Then, he realized what Iruka had said. "You wouldn't?"  
"What?"

"You wouldn't date me?"

"No! You're a lazy pervert who's always late, makes up horrible excuses, and wears a mask to make himself look more mysterious! Why in Kami's name would I?"

"…well…I wouldn't date you either! You're an anal-retentive, overly-emotional paperwork ninja!"

"You take that back!" Iruka glared.  
"You take it back!" Kakashi scowled.

"You're acting like a child." Iruka scoffed.

"…so are you!" Kakashi finally came up with a response.

"Oh, very mature." Iruka rolled his eyes. "Maybe I should just leave you here."

Kakashi remained outwardly quite calm. On the inside, however, he had a minor panic attack. What would it say about him as a ninja if people found out he got his ass glued to the bridge by some paper-pushing chunnin? Not good things.

Not good things at all.

"Way to prove you're Jounin level-glue your tutor to a bridge. Very smooth." Kakashi settled for rolling his eyes and playing it cool. He was surprised, however, by the ferocious flash in Iruka's eyes.

"I don't _want _to be a Jounin." Iruka scowled.

"You think I care? This is just a mission." Kakashi shrugged, "Take it up with Tsunade if you care so much."

"Believe me, I will." Iruka sighed, calming down. He moved forward to undo the glue with his chakra. In order to do so, his hand pressed up against Kakashi's ass. Kakashi grinned.

"Enjoying yourself, sensei? Maa…you should really ask me to dinner fir-!" Kakashi was cut off when, in instant fury, Iruka shoved Kakashi off the bridge completely, sending him splashing into the freezing cold water below. Unfortunately, Iruka hadn't bothered to finish undoing the glue holding Kakashi's pants-and, it seemed, his boxers-to the bridge. As such, Iruka now unglued Kakashi's lower garments, and held them in the air tauntingly.

"You ungrateful _bastard_! Let's see how arrogant you are _now_!" Iruka declared before disappearing, Kakashi's pants and boxers in tow.

Kakashi, stunned at being one-upped so smoothly and decisively, stared at the place where Iruka had disappeared. Then he stared some more. Finally, the freezing water began to have an interesting effect on his nethers, and he was shaken out of his shock.

"…I'm really going to have to watch him."


	4. Chapter 4

"This is _so _earning him 500 laps around Konoha." Kakashi growled, ducking behind another bush, "And unless he's on his knees begging me to spare his life, he can do it naked!"

It'd taken the now-furious Jounin all of five seconds to discover that Iruka had, at some point in time, disabled his ability to teleport. If he were in a better mood, he might take note of his new 'students' ability to disable chakra flow. Or maybe his ability to set a trap Kakashi couldn't disable. Or maybe his ability to infuriate Kakashi like no other. As it was, Kakashi had to make his way through the village unseen, or be eternally humiliated.

Oh, there would be hell to pay.

"Eternal Rival? Is that you?"

No. No no no no no!

What to do…what to do…what to do?!

"AAAAHHH!" Gai let out a manly shriek as the bush began to attack him.

~.~.~.~.~

"Demon Foliage! I will defeat you and your leafy friends if it is the last thing I do!" Gai lay on the ground, scratched up and defeated. Gai raised a fist to the sky to emphasize his promise. The 'bush' rolled it's eyes before sprinting off with a sigh of relief.

Crisis averted.

~.~.~.~.~

"Gai-sensei, I appreciate your enthusiasm, but 'destroy all bushes in Konoha' is really not an acceptable mission, no matter how much you're offering as pay." Iruka declined the mission, stamping it before returning it to it's owner.

"But Iruka-sensei! This is a Most Honorable Endeavor!" Gai pleaded.

"…I'm not sure I want to know, but I suppose I should ask…why, Gai-sensei, do you feel the need to exterminate all bushes?" Iruka sighed, massaging his temples in aggravation.

"They are…" Gai glanced around the empty mission room before leaning in and whispering theatrically, "Possessed!"

"I…see." Iruka blinked. "And what makes you think that?"

"Well!" Gai grinned, happy that someone had asked him about his tale. Iruka sighed, realizing that this was going to be quite an epic story… "I was on my way home from meeting the Fair and Beautiful Shizune-san in the market. You see, we meet once or twice a week, and she helps me choose food that will help keep up my Youthful and Enthusiastic Spirit-"

"So _she's _the culprit…" Iruka grumbled, scribbling down 'Kill Shizune' on a post-it note before waving at Gai, "Continue, I'm listening."

"And on this Fine and Sunny Afternoon, I decided to take a stroll through the Gorgeously Green Forests of Konoha, because why not enjoy all of the Hard Work and Effort put into maintaining such Wonderful and Joyous Forests, ne? As I was walking along, I thought I felt the chakra of my Eternal Rival, Hatake Kakashi."

Iruka, who had been half-asleep on his mission desk, instantly perked up.

"Oh you did, did you?" Iruka grinned, and Gai thought that Iruka looked somewhat like a cat.

"Yes, well, I thought I did. So I checked the nearby bush, where I thought I had sensed my Friend and Youthful Companion's chakra. However, instead of finding Kakashi, the Demonic Bush attacked me! It was a Long and Grueling Fight, but the Bush From Hell managed to defeat me, proving that the bushes of Konoha are bent on taking over!" Gai proclaimed. Then he paused, and looked quizzically at Iruka. "Iruka-sensei? Are you okay?"  
Iruka was bent over his desk, and was laughing so hard his face was purple.

"Raidou!" Iruka gestured to Raidou, still laughing uncontrollably, "T-take over for me will you? I have to meet Kakashi for training soon."

"Uh…you know he won't be there for at least three more hours, right?"

That only served to make Iruka laugh harder.

"Oh, believe me, he'll be there." Iruka grinned ferally.

"Sure he will. But I'll watch the desk if you want…" Raidou shrugged to his friend, who promptly disappeared in a poof of smoke, still snickering. Raidou just shook his head. "And he says _Jounin _are crazy…"

~.~.~.~.~

Iruka reappeared at the bridge. He was a couple of minutes early, but it didn't really matter. He climbed the bridge's railing, and swung his feet over the edge. As he waited, he mused on Kakashi's reaction to being shoved off the bridge.

The stuck-up Jounin had been pretty surprised to find himself in the river, that was for sure. As it turned out, when Kakashi's mask was wet, it clung to his face like a second skin, making every expression perfectly readable. The Jounin had been incredulous, and Iruka decided that the stoic man should definitely wear that expression a lot more. He had to admit, the sharingan user had looked almost…cute.

"Maa…ready for training, sensei?"

Iruka felt a hard shove on his back, and he plummeted forward, entering the river with a loud splash.

After a moment of orienting himself underwater, Iruka swam upwards. He broke the water and gulped a breath of fresh air before shaking his head to get the wet hair out of his face.

"I suppose I was asking for it, wasn't I?" Iruka grinned up at his silver-haired attacker.

Kakashi frowned momentarily. Iruka wasn't supposed to _like _it. Then his mouth twitched upward into a smile as he watched the other slick back his hair. As annoying as the chunnin could be…Kakashi couldn't help but mirror the sensei's smile. It was just contagious.

"Well?" Iruka grabbed a low hanging bar on the bridge, and swung himself back up to stand in front of Kakashi.

Iruka's shirt was now pulled taunt across his chest, completely soaked and almost see-through. It hinted at a well-defined torso that was _so _not from running around after brats all day. It was from work, sweat, and long, hard missions…

"Huh?"

"Well…what do you have planned?" Iruka prompted.

"Planned…for what?" Kakashi blinked brilliantly.

"For training." Iruka gave him a funny look.

"Uh…oh! Water. Walking on water." Kakashi shook his head. Iruka gave him an even weirder look.

"You know that I've been able to walk on water since I was nine, right?" Iruka raised an eyebrow, "You _did _read the file Tsunade gave you…didn't you?"

"I know. We're going to be sparring. I want to see what it takes for you to lose your chakra control. For most people it only takes a few punches here and there, but your file said your control's supposed to be impressive, so…I'd like to see just how impressive." Kakashi shrugged nonchalantly.

Truth be told, he'd read the chunnin's file a total of three times, analyzing the factual file in an attempt to better understand the intriguing man. What was his childhood like? What does he like? What does he hate? What are his hobbies, his goals, his dreams?

"Oh, but first…introductions." Kakashi added. "Name, likes, dislikes, hobbies, and dreams. I'm sure Naruto told you about it."

"He also told me that all you told him was your name." Iruka quirked an eyebrow.

"Maa…I'm not much of a talker. So, tell me about yourself, sensei. How about we start with why you're not a Jounin already, if you're so capable?" Kakashi prodded.

"This isn't a date, Hatake." At the mention of not being a Jounin, Iruka's mood instantly soured, and he shot a glare at Kakashi. "You read my file; you know all you need to know."

"I'm beginning to really doubt that." Kakashi observed the chunnin's reaction.

"Are we going to spar, or not?" Iruka turned and jumped onto the water, landing lightly on his feet.

Kakashi didn't respond. Instead, he calmly regarded the sensei's obviously negative reaction to the subject, before teleporting down to the water below with a poof of smoke. He smoothly moved into the ready position, somehow making the tense pose seem fluid and graceful. He held up a hand as a signal for the spar to start, and Iruka nodded in return.


	5. Chapter 5

It was the after the fifth attempt at a classic, perfectly executed sweep kick that Kakashi began to notice. He dodged the kick easily, of course, as he had them all, but it was the fact that this was the fifth time it had been attempted. Something about Iruka's fighting style was…off. Weird. All of Iruka's moves were perfect and concise, and the moves themselves were never anything but exact and…_perfect._ But, not really in a good way.

Kakashi raised a hand to signal a pause in the spar. He wasn't anywhere near tired, and Iruka still seemed to have plenty of energy. The sensei raised an eyebrow at the pause in fighting.

"When was the last time you fought someone?" Kakashi examined Iruka.

"…I'm a chunnin, not an Academy student you moron. I fight other nin all the time." Iruka rolled his eyes, "Just yesterday if you count pushing Genma out an open window, two days ago if you mean an actual spar. Why?"

"...pushing Genma out an open window?" Kakashi blinked.

"He was watching my class through the window, and he wouldn't get off the windowsill when I told him to, so I helped him." Iruka explained matter-of-factly.

"You…helped him." Kakashi deadpanned, trying very hard not to laugh.

"Of course. I just helped him out the window; he was the one that fell." Iruka shrugged.

"…right. Anyway…" Kakashi shot the teacher one last odd look before continuing with his point, "Your moves are textbook."

"…you _really _don't live up to your reputation."

"Excuse me?"

"Aren't you supposed to be a genius?"

"I'm not sure I want to know what you're implying."

"I'm a teacher. Of course my moves are textbook, I teach them every day to twenty-something seven-year-olds." Iruka rolled his eyes.

"Exactly. Usually, textbook is good. In your case…" Kakashi trailed off, trying to find the right words, "You take it too far. Your moves are formal. Too predictable, too precise. One unusual move on your enemy's part, and the move fails. The textbook moves were created as a basis for developing your own taijutsu techniques and for use as a supplement to the larger ninjutsu. You're using it as is, which isn't the way it was intended."

"Hm." Iruka nodded, looking thoughtful. He didn't say anything else, and Kakashi got the distinct feeling Iruka was mocking him.

"Are you listening to me? I'm trying to teach you something y'know." Kakashi frowned, then couldn't resist adding a jibe at the teacher's favorite student, "As Naruto could tell you, it's a rare moment, I would enjoy it while it lasts."

"Hm." Iruka nodded again, and now Kakashi was positive Iruka wasn't listening.

"Say 'hm' if you want me to tie you up, strip you, and deliver you to Genma to use as he will."

"Strip me and I'll cut your fingers off with a rusty kunai."

"…well, better than 'hm'."

~.~.~.~.~

Two hours later, they were no better than when they'd started.

"Are you trying at all?" Kakashi asked dryly as he dodged yet another punch to the jaw.

"For the tenth time, _yes!_" Iruka growled back, swiftly turning around to deliver an elbow to the stomach.

Kakashi rolled backwards with the motion, significantly lessening power of the blow. He then kicked upwards, his foot colliding solidly with Iruka's shoulder. Iruka stumbled forward, but his position above the water never wavered.

If nothing else, that was something to be admired. Iruka was being beaten quite badly—he hadn't had a hit yet (well, he'd had a few punches here and there, but nothing that caused significant pain), and Kakashi wasn't exactly going easy on him. Yet, the sensei stayed completely above water at all times. There wasn't a drop of water on him.

Kakashi's own chakra reserves were fast depleting. He hadn't used the sharingan recently, but two hours worth of straight chakra exertion isn't something one should do on a daily basis. He figured he had fifteen minutes left in him, tops.

He knew what he _should _do was call the match, proclaim his victory, and forget all about the resilient sensei. And yet, he couldn't do it. That would be admitting that Iruka had more chakra…

And Kakashi just couldn't do that.

While Kakashi was distracted, Iruka tried another standard sweep kick, and this time his foot dragged in the water while Kakashi jumped over it easily. Kakashi allowed himself a momentary smirk; apparently Iruka wouldn't hold out much longer eith—

The thought was interrupted when Kakashi landed on the water from his jump, and, instead of feeling his chakra solidify beneath his feet, he slipped. His single visible eye went wide in surprise, and he fell into the water with a splash. After a moments surprise Kakashi regained his wits and swam up to the surface. He was greeted with loud, familiar laughter. Spluttering profanities, dripping wet and fighting mad, Kakashi whipped around to glare at the source.

"Y-your f-face!" Iruka laughed, still annoyingly dry and above-water.

"You can't even see my face." Kakashi snapped.

"Y-your mask is w-wet…it's not see-through, but it's c-clear enough to see how s-surprised the g-great Copy Nin was!" Iruka laughed even harder now, doubling over.

To his utter humiliation, Kakashi felt himself blushing. He turned away instantly, but not quick enough.

"Are you _blushing?_" Iruka instantly sobered, and his eyes widened in amazement.

"No!" Kakashi answered quickly.

Before Iruka could say anything more, Kakashi lashed out and grabbed Iruka's leg. With a quick tug, he yanked the chunnin underwater as well. Iruka hit the water back-first with a loud splash, and the look on his face was priceless.

Kakashi was smirking when he felt something collide with his stomach, and it was with great surprise that he realized it was Iruka. They wrestled underwater, and Iruka definitely held his own. But it was only a matter of time before Kakashi shoved the chunnin off, and, with the need for air bubbling in both their chests, they surfaced. Both were soaked to the bone, and they caught gazes.

Kakashi's mask now clung to his face, outlining a strong jaw and a hint of a pale scar jutting out from underneath his now askew hitai-ate. His long silver hair hung low in wet strands, and he attempted to get it out of his face with a shake of his head. It didn't work, and only left him looking less like someone who'd just been in an underwater attack, and more like an extremely popular swimsuit model. One eyebrow was raised, and two mismatched eyes locked with Iruka's, daring him to comment about his revealed sharingan. Far from making him look weird, as Kakashi obviously thought it did, the sharingan fit in a way that some people might say was seriously gorgeous. Not Iruka, of course. Just…some people.

Iruka's hair tie had snapped and disappeared somewhere underwater, leaving chocolate locks to fall at shoulder level. Iruka stood quickly, and shook his head both to clear his thoughts and get the hair out of his face. The shake not only didn't get the hair out of his face, but also managed to make him look even more tousled and wild and…not sexy. Kakashi had most _definitely _not thought sexy.

"…what the hell was that?"

Though not doing anything wrong, both whipped around guiltily to see their unamused Hokage.

"Uhh…" It was the only thing Kakashi's genius mind could supply when his sharingan was still spinning with the memorized image of Iruka.

"Water." Iruka blinked, trying very hard to remember what he'd been doing before he'd tackling Kakashi. "Walking on water."

"…yeah, you're fucking geniuses." Tsunade rolled her eyes. "I think I figured that much out on my own. What led to the underwater ballet I saw?"

"He…uh…huh." Kakashi frowned suddenly. What _had _made him fall in the water?

Both Tsunade and Kakashi turned to look at Iruka, who blushed embarrassedly at the scrutiny.

"Heh…I might have sprayed some of this on my heel before it hit the water." Iruka admitted, digging out what looked like a small bottle of bug spray out of his pocket. He tossed it to Kakashi, and Kakashi realized that it was not, in fact, bug spray, but chakra repellant. He whistled in appreciation.

Chakra repellant was nearly impossible to find, and even harder to get the funds to purchase, even on Kakashi's salary. It was well worth the expense, however, because a small squirt of the stuff disabled chakra in that area of the body completely. Or, in this case, when wiped on water, the water no longer supported chakra.

"Chakra repellant. Smart." Tsunade raised an eyebrow, before nodding, "Just making sure you were actually training."

"Maa...we're grown men. We can handle ourselves." Kakashi scoffed. Tsunade's eyes narrowed.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I offend you by checking in? Maybe if one of you-Kakashi-didn't have a reputation for being hours late-Kakashi-reading instead of teaching-Kakashi-sleeping instead of teaching-Kakashi-sitting in a freaking _tree_ instead of teaching-Kakashi-or tying up his students and leaving them there for over 10 hours because, and I quote, "I thought it was good training"-_still _Kakashi-I wouldn't bother to check up on you!"

"...that time of the month already?"

~.~.~.~.~

"It's your own damn fault, moron."

"No sympathy?"

"None. And you know she's gonna expect you to have training again tomorrow."

"With a broken arm?"

"Oh stop whining. You're lucky she didn't break your skull. I'm surprised she didn't, with the way you landed."

"..." Kakashi pouted underneath his mask.

He and Iruka were sitting in the hopital waiting room, waiting for the nurse to come back with Kakashi's release form. For all the Jounin's whining, and considering the damage Tsunade _could_ do, he'd actually gotten off pretty easy. Probably because she didn't want to do the paperwork that was involved when a Hokage kills their own village's top ninja.

You could tell she'd considered it though.

Kakashi frowned as he sat down in a lobby chair. The chair's were uncomfortable...but not that uncomfortable. He leaned forward, and tugged something out from behind him. He found Iruka's chakra spray shoved down the back of his shirt. Considering how angry Tsunade had been...it was better than where she probably wanted to shove it. Kakashi shuddered, and put those thoughts aside as he examined the bottle.

"Oh, so that's where that went! I was wondering about that. When she flew into a rage, you had it in your hands. I saw her grab it, and...well, uh...I'm just glad she put it down your shirt instead." Iruka blushed embarrassedly, "Can I have that back now? It's kind of-"

"Expensive? Very. And here I thought you were just a poor little chunnin teacher. Are you hiding an ANBU mask somewhere in that dingy apartment of yours?" Kakashi was only half-teasing. Chakra repellant all but _required _an ANBU salary to purchase.

"I'll have you know my apartment is very nice." Iruka stuck out his tongue, then caught and pocketed the bottle Kakashi tossed at him.

"A nice apartment? In district 3? Maa…I've seen better apartments in ghettos." Kakashi snorted.

"Hey! So my salary isn't high enough for anything high-rise, that doesn't mea-_have you been spying on me?"_ Iruka's voice turned deadly, and Kakashi quickly backtracked.

"It's not _spying_, really…" Kakashi sweatdropped, holding up his hands in a sign of innocence that didn't fool Iruka for a second, "I was just doing a little recon on my new student. I did it with Team 7, why wouldn't I do it with you?"

"…first of all, do not _ever _compare me to Team 7. Second, they were minors about to be placed under your care. I'm neither a minor, nor, kami forbid, going to be placed under your care. Therefore, stalking me is _not _okay." Iruka hissed.

"It wasn't _stalking_, honestly. It was just recon…"

"Stalking."

"Recon."

"Stalk. Ing."

"Re. Con."

"Fine. Recon stalking."

"Is that real?"

"The question you _should _be asking, is 'is that legal', because if it isn't, one of these days, you're going to be sitting on an open window, or on some tree branch, and the great Copy Nin is going to mysteriously lose his balance."

"…is that a threat?"

"I'm going to make this very, very clear. Stalk me again and I'll push you off a window."

"…is _that _legal?"

"We're freaking ninja. Of course violence is legal."

"Then why isn't stalking legal?"

"Because it's a violation of privacy!"

"And pushing me off a window isn't?"

"Not unless it's a window in your apartment!"

"How did you know I have an apartment? Maybe you're the one stalking me."

"In your dreams!"

"You know what I dream about? Now _that's _some effective stalking."

"I do _not _stalk you!"

"You're the chakra genius. How would I know?"

"You…well, I mean…you wouldn't, I guess…but I _don't!_"

"Ooh, delusion. Fun."

"_You're _the delusional one, dumbass!"

"Now you're judging the intelligence of my ass? That's just unkind."

"…I've heard more intelligent comebacks from my pre-genin."

"With _that _pathetic batch of ninja wannabe? I doubt i-OW! What the-? OW!"

"Don't you call my pre-genin pathetic!"

"Cool it! Honestly, you're such a mother hen, I just-OW! What the hell was-OW!"

"What did you call me?"

"A mother-OW! I mean, nothing, nothing!"

Iruka glared suspiciously at Kakashi, who started to mumble under his breath.

"I know what I _should _have called y-OW! Sorry! Damn, you hit like a-OW!"

"I hit like a _what?_"

"Nothing."

"Better."

"…I take it back. You _should _be a Jounin."


	6. Chapter 6

All of two days later, precisely at three pm, three hours after the agreed meeting time-because, of course, he had a reputation…not because the chunnin was sexy when angry. Not at all-Kakashi found himself staring at an empty bridge.

He wasn't inclined to go anywhere near it, really.

Ever since meeting Iruka, the bridge had become a place of torture. First he was glued to it, then pushed off, subsequently had to use all his ninja skills to not be seen running around the village naked, then he shoved Iruka off it, resulting in…unexpected results, to say the least. Why did the sensei have to look so damn hot when wet?

He hadn't thought that.

Nope.

Anyway…no. The bridge was not somewhere he wanted to be at this particular moment in time.

And yet, Tsunade had made it very, _very _clear yesterday that he was not allowed to ditch this mission under any circumstances. In fact, she had imposed _more _directions upon him. After Iruka left, Kakashi had been signing himself out of the hospital when Tsunade came up to him and said that they needed to "talk". Naturally, Kakashi had tried to duck out the nearest available window, and when that didn't work, emptied his arsenal of pointy objects in an escape attempt—to no avail. Luckily, when she said talk, she had actually meant it.

She'd given him specific instructions to find out _why_ Iruka was so set against being a Jounin. As if the sensei was his friend or something. Why would the chunnin tell _him_ that? He wouldn't even tell Kakashi his likes, dislikes, hobbies, dreams, etc., the basic introduction. Why would he tell him what seemed to be something of a secret?

When he asked why _he _had to do this, and why someone who was actually friends and had a higher than 0% chance of getting the information couldn't do it, she'd just laughed. She then tittered something about his chances being higher than he thought, and how Kotetsu and Izumo had been right. For the record? Kotetsu and Izumo being right?

Never, _ever _a good sign.

So. Here he stood, at an empty bridge, waiting for the person with whom he argued with every time he saw, knew nothing about, couldn't keep his mind off of, and had to somehow convince to tell him his deepest darkest secret.

Why did Tsunade not realize that he was a ninja, not god?

"HA! I _told _you!" A shrill voice exclaimed triumphantly.

"No fair!" Two other voices whined in perfect sympathy, and Kakashi shuddered, realizing exactly who the trio was.

He instantly began scanning for hiding places, but for some reason there were no bushes around. Where the hell had they all gone?

No time to worry about that now, the Trio of Doom was fast approaching. Kakashi settled for a quick substitution jutsu—let them annoy a log for a couple of hours.

"Kakashi! Are you trying to escape me? Your bestest friend in the whole world?" Anko appeared in front of him, grinning her more-than-slightly-wolfish grin.

"Maa…of course not, Anko." Kakashi said sarcastically.

"So…"

"Kakashi…"

The Demonic Duo appeared at his sides, and it was then that Kakashi knew he was truly doomed. Even before they uttered the words that would turn his world upside down. The words that would become the center of his every thought. The words that would have him analyzing even the most innocent of situations for the next month leading up to the Jounin exams. He hadn't known it then, of course. The duo innocently chimed the words together.

"Do you like Iruka?"

Kakashi blinked.

"Don't ask him right out!" Anko screeched, horrified at her friends' lack of manners, as if she was one to talk, "Be subtle!"

"Why bother?" Izumo snorted.

"We all know Kakashi's got a vibe for our little Iruka-kun." Kotetsu waggled his eyebrows.

"Honestly Anko, a blind monkey could tell." Izumo rolled his eyes.

"Well, _yeah._ But Kakashi's a retard!" Anko gestured to Kakashi, who still stood less than a foot away from her, and, though Anko wasn't acting like it, he was definitely still there. But the Copy Nin was too preoccupied with his own, mass confusion of thoughts to notice, "It's not like _he _knows!"

"Of course he knows!" Kotetsu argued, "Why else would he have ogled Iruka-kun like he did when Iruka-kun was soaked?"

"Uh, cause Ruru-oto's hot?" Anko grinned suggestively.

"I thought you didn't like Iruka-kun." Izumo raised an eyebrow at her, but his mild surprise was drowned out by Kotetsu's sudden yelp.

"You like Iruka-kun?" Kotetsu's eyes boggled.

"Ew, he's like my little brother, Ko!" Anko shoved Kotetsu with a roll of her eyes, "I just meant that, hello. Brother or not, Ruru-oto's definitely got it going on."

Kotetsu and Izumo glanced at each other, came to a mutual decision, and nodded.

"Definitely."

"Are you just gonna stand there all day, or are you gonna admit you like him so we can get down to business?" Anko demanded of Kakashi, hands on her hips.

"…business?" Was all Kakashi could get out. He couldn't settle his thoughts long enough to select a more coherent one. More along the lines of 'what the _hell? _Do I like _Iruka?_ What kind of a question is _that?_'

"You know…the business of…_seduction_." Anko grinned ferally, giving a slight shimmy of her hips to emphasize the word.

"We'll totally help ya." Kotetsu put an arm around Kakashi's shoulder.

"You'll have Iruka-kun's heart in no time." Izumo assured with a grin, throwing his arm around Kakashi's other shoulder.

"Yep! I know Ruru-oto like the back of my hand. I'll guide ya. Just think of me as the yellow brick road to Ruru-oto's heart." Anko winked, punching Kakashi lightly.

The punch combined with the offer of Anko, Kotetsu, and Izumo's "help" brought Kakashi back to earth. He shrugged out of the Demonic Duo's grip and back away from Anko.

"Funny thing, about that. See, I don't like him." Kakashi tried to explain.

They laughed. _Laughed._

"Really!"  
"Of course you don't. The part where after seeing him in action you stared at him like a child with a new toy totally convinced me." Kotetsu grinned at Izumo, "What about you, Zumo?"

"It was the underwater sexual assault that got me." Izumo grinned right back.

"I personally liked the part where Ruru-oto felt you up, then stripped you. Who knew he had a feisty side?" Anko smirked.

Kakashi thanked Kami-sama for his mask, otherwise they would have seen his cheeks light up like firecrackers.

"I didn't stare!" Kakashi protested, his voice dangerously high-pitched, "And it wasn't sexual assault! We were _fighting! _And kami, he didn't _strip _me!"

Kakashi found it extremely difficult to ignore the part of his brain that wished he had. Images attacked the rational half of his brain, and his sharingan chose that moment to remind him of the moment Iruka had emerged from the water, luscious and dripping wet.

Shit.

The rational portion of his brain was shrinking by the second.

"That's what he wants you to think." Anko nodded sagely.

Kotetsu and Izumo snickered.

Suddenly, just as his logic was dying out, a thought occurred to him that snapped him back to sanity.

"Have you been _spying _on us?"

Anko burst into laughter, and Kotetsu and Izumo instantly burst into their explanation.

"It's not really spying…" Izumo began.

"More like stalking." Kotetsu nodded decisively.

"Definitely stalking."

"Kind of a pastime for us, really."

"I mean, we're ninja y'know?"

"What else ya gonna do with free time?"

"If you feel uncomfortable…"

"You can just call it collecting information."

"Ninja's gotta keep up on his gossip."

"How else do ya know when to intervene?"

"For their own good of course."

"Well, of course."

"Contributing to humanity, really."

"We should win a medal or somethin'."

"Surprised we haven't already."

"Think of all the good we've done!"

"Yeah! Where would Asuma and Kurenai be without us?"

"Home lonely, that's where."

"Well, they _do_ complain it wasn't a romantic first kiss."

"Who gives a shit?"

"They've had like a million since then anyway."

"I maintain that it wasn't even a real kiss."

"Your shove was a little forceful."

"Too strong for my own good."

"Well, considering they collided headfirst, how could their lips even connect?"

"I dunno. I bet they don't know either, the liars."

"They both got a concussion; how would they remember anyway?"

"The sacrifices I make..."

"I know, Ko, I know. It's all for the greater good."

Somewhere in the middle of their monologue (that idiotic duo was so close they were practically one person anyway) Kakashi used substitution jutsu to escape while they were preoccupied with each other, and Anko was too busy laughing to pay attention.

He found himself teleporting to the last place he should have—the ramen stand. He was _not _looking for Iruka. Of course not. And yet, there he was…

Funny how life worked.

"Hey, Iruka-sensei." Kakashi nodded to the chunnin, taking a seat next to him at the counter. Iruka looked up from his ramen and blinked widely.

"Kakashi-sensei?"

"Surprised to see me? You skipped out on training; you think I wouldn't hunt you down?"

"You said we didn't have training today." Iruka looked at him in confusion.

"I did?"

"Yeah." Iruka snickered, "I think it was sometime after you started moaning about how Tsunade broke your arm."

"To be fair, at the time I was fairly sure she had." Kakashi frowned.

"Would that be why you said training was cancelled for the next three years?"

"…I did _not _say three years."

"Oh, yes you did." Iruka affirmed with a big grin, "I distinctly remember that part."

"…I blame the drugs." Kakashi protested.

"Actually, I'm pretty sure they didn't give you drugs. Something about not needing them, seeing as your arm wasn't, in fact, broken." Iruka gave him an amused smile.

"I think I meant three days." Kakashi insisted.

"I'm sure you did. Anyway…" Iruka chuckled, then took one last spoonful of ramen before pushing the bowl away and laying some money on the counter for Teuchi. "It's fine, I'm finished anyway. What'd you have in mind for today, _sensei?_"

Iruka smirked a little at the title, and right as Kakashi was about to answer the question, the Demonic Duo's words returned to the forefront of his mind…

_Do you like Iruka?_

Suddenly, that smirk and their previous little banter took on a whole new meaning.

But it didn't have to. Of course he didn't like some chunnin sensei, Kakashi snorted to himself. With this rational thought, Kakashi moved backwards smoothly, calmly putting a little distance between him and the sensei. He thought he'd pulled off a pretty smooth maneuver…until he tripped over his chair. He made to grab the counter, but instead landed his hand in Iruka's bowl of ramen. The bowl flipped over, the broth splashed all everywhere, and the bowl landed on his head right as Kakashi fell on his ass.

Iruka burst out laughing. The tan sensei laughed so hard his face turned red, and Kakashi's mimicked the color, though not out of humor. He was so embarrassed he could practically feel the heat of his cheeks burning through the black fabric of his mask.

"…w-why did you jump s-so far away from me you t-tripped over your c-chair?" Iruka laughed.

"I didn't _jump_…" Kakashi scowled, yanking the bowl off and shaking his head get some of the noodles out of his hair.

Iruka extended a hand to Kakashi with an amused smile.

"Sure you didn't. Need a hand?"

Kakashi took Iruka's hand began to pull himself up.  
_Do you like Iruka?_

He instantly dropped Iruka's hand like it was on fire, and consequently slipped on the noodle broth still on the floor and fell on his ass. Again.

"…you're beginning to worry me. Just how hard did Tsunade pummel you?" Iruka's look of amusement faded to one of concern, and Kakashi shook his head.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." He briskly pulled himself up, and brushed himself off quickly. Iruka gave him a worried look before moving closer. He was about an inch away from Kakashi now, and Kakashi could see the sparks of gold in Iruka's hazel eyes.

_Do you like Iruka?_

Kakashi leaned back with a jolt, "What are you doing?"

"…" Iruka gave him a very weird look, before finishing his move forward and plucking a noodle from Kakashi's shoulder. "That's it, I'm taking you to see Tsunade."

Kakashi felt like a complete moron.

~.~.~.~.~

"You want me to test his what?" Tsunade dropped her pen.

It was enough that the demanding sensei had stormed past her guards—the idiots let him through without any questions for some reason, she'd have to talk to them about that—and then marched up to her desk, Kakashi following blindly behind him, and demanded something like _that_?

"His insanity." Iruka confirmed.

"…most people test for sanity." Tsunade sighed, rubbing her temples. Stupid, stupid ninja couldn't just sort out their own problems? Whatever happened to that old saying, 'Anything that can't be solved with a kunai isn't important enough to solve'?

"Yeah, well, he never had any of that anyway. But his old, late-arriving, porn-reading, cocky-bastard insanity is gone."

"…I…see?" Tsunade lied uncertainly. What the hell? "What exactly happened?"

"I was paying for my ramen, and he randomly leapt away from me like I was insane. Then, he tripped over his stool and knocked over what was left of it. I started to help him up, then he let go of my hand like it burned halfway up, so of course he fell again. Then, when he was up, I plucked a noodle off his shoulder and he backed so far away from me he almost tripped again." Iruka gave Tsunade a serious look, "Generally, high-level Jounin don't trip three times in two minutes."

Tsunade was too busy laughing to answer. Kotetsu and Izumo had been so very right. She just hadn't realized quite how right until this moment.

"He was perfectly fine when he left the hospital." Tsunade reassured once she controlled her laughter, "And I'm sure he's fine now. But if you want me to test him, fine. Kakashi, according to the well-known proverb, when one door closes…"

"…" Kakashi blinked up, pulled out of his thoughts. He mulled the question over and came to the logical conclusion, "You go out the window?"  
"He seems perfectly insane to me." Tsunade shrugged.

"Huh." Iruka seemed distinctly unimpressed.

"Now get out of my office and back to training! Honestly, don't think you can mess around all day just because Kakashi will do whatever you say!"

"What?" They both blinked in confusion.

"…kami you're both idiots. Just get back to training." Tsunade waved them out of her office. Once they were gone, she took a swig of the cup of sake on her desk before shouting, "Bee! Rat! Get in here!"

"Yes Hokage-sama?" The two were in immediately.

"Why the _hell _did you let Iruka up here without warning me?" Tsunade demanded.

"Uh…" The two exchanged nervous glances. Had Iruka tried to harm the Hokage? Was that even _possible?_

"He could have seen my sake! Do you _know _how many times he has _lectured _me half to death about that?" Tsunade began to rant, and the two sighed. So there hadn't been any danger, at least. "And _another _thing! If we just start letting anyone waltz on in here, then all the villagers with complaints will be in here day and night, and I'm_ telling_ you, I can't take that! I didn't sign up to _babysit_ you brats!"

"Yes Lady Hokage." The two intoned.

"Honestly, what was going through your _minds _when you let him in here all pissed like that?!"

"Well…" Bee grinned at Rat.

"Personally?" Rat laughed, "When he walked in here with that pissed off expression, the only thing that was running through my mind was the time I interrupted his class. I woke up with different colored hair every day of the week and inerasable drawings all over my face."

"…I was thinking about the time he pushed me out a window." Bee grumbled.

"Exactly. We weren't exactly inclined to stop him." Rat sweatdropped.

"Plus, it's Iruka. We knew he didn't mean any harm." Bee waved the Hokage's anger off.

Not a good idea.

"You _knew?! _You let an angry shinobi into the Hokage's inner office because, oh, you just 'knew' he wouldn't try anything?! For Kami's sake, you're all a bunch of morons!" Tsunade raged. Genma and Raidou exchanged glances. Tsunade's anger, or Iruka's wrath?

They knew they had made the right decision.


	7. Chapter 7

"So. What's the lesson today, _sensei_?" Iruka smirked slightly at the title as the duo approached the bridge.

"Chakra." Kakashi nodded absent-mindedly. He was busy keeping a wary eye out for the Trio of Doom.

"Twenty seven days left and counting." Iruka reminded him, raising an eyebrow, "Wanna teach me something I don't know?"

"I'm not teaching you today so much as testing you." Kakashi corrected with a shake of his head, "I saw your taijutsu capabilities and chakra endurance when we sparred the other day. But I never saw the full extent of your supposedly 'amazing' chakra. So today I want to focus on testing, mainly. I want to see your chakra control, which you can show me in a few different activities that I use to challenge myself. I want to see your weaponry abilities—accuracy, technique, style, etc. I'll need to see your most commonly used ninjutsu along with any special reserves you're willing to show me, and a verbal list of those you can't. I want to know what level of genjutsu you're at, if you have a genjutsu specialty, and if you can put me under a genjutsu, I'll be sufficiently impressed."

"…_I'm _sufficiently impressed." Iruka whistled, "You're actually serious about this."

"After you left, Tsunade felt the need to impress upon me the importance of this mission." Kakashi snorted.

"Ah." Iruka nodded. No other explanation was necessary. "I almost feel bad then."

Kakashi raised a single silver eyebrow in question.

"I'm not going to become a Jounin." Iruka shrugged, "Though the mission still might be marked as a pass if it looks like you tried your best."  
"Look…" Kakashi was beginning to feel bad, "I know I was teasing you the other day about being a chunnin, but that's no reason for you to think you can't be a Jounin. I mean, you certainly have the chakra, from what I hear. And Tsunade's pretty impressed with that Perfect Clone jutsu of yours. I'm sure you'll-"

Iruka held up a hand.

"Relax." Iruka chuckled, "I didn't mean it like that. I meant I'm not going to try to become a Jounin."

"It's a mission." Kakashi pointed out. He tried not to show his curiosity though, and took up a relaxed position, leaning slightly against a nearby tree, "You don't have much of an option."

"You'd be surprised." Iruka grinned, and Kakashi felt distinctively unnerved.

"Maa…you're beginning to make me curious." Kakashi chuckled.

"It's a long story." Iruka waved him off, and leaned against the tree next to Kakashi.

"I like stories." A hint of a smile tugged at Kakashi's lips, and Iruka smiled back.

"S-class secret kind of stories? I'm sure you do." Iruka winked. "But I can't tell you. And I can't be a Jounin either, for that matter. Though I'm sure Tsunade appreciates you putting some effort into something for once."

"What do you mean 'for once'?" Kakashi frowned, dropping the subject, though somewhat reluctantly.

Pushing the sensei for information about this supposed 'S-class secret' would do no good—the chunnin would just think he was nosy, and not tell him anyway. Iruka didn't seem the type to spill secrets to just anyone under pressure. Kakashi would have to find out on his own.

"From what I hear, you're something of a slacker." Iruka shrugged with a slight grin.

"From what I hear, you've something of a temper. Seems we're both being talked about, ne?" Kakashi chuckled, putting a hand against the tree and facing Iruka.

"I suppose." Iruka turned to face him as well, and his lips quirked into a sideways smile. Kakashi couldn't help but think that the man was gorgeous when he did so.

_Do you like Iruka?_

The sudden, unbidden thought surprised Kakashi, and his hand on the tree slipped. He felt himself falling forward; he caught himself, just barely, and found himself nose-to-chest with Iruka. He inhaled in surprise, and the scent of sweet vanilla and spicy cinnamon filled his senses. He looked up, and realized with an odd mix of curiosity and…something else…that Iruka's lips were less than an inch from his. The unidentified feeling whirled in Kakashi's stomach like butterflies on a sugar high; it bubbled up in his chest and climbed his throat until he could practically taste it on his tongue.

_Want._

His eyes flickered from the chunnin's lips to his eyes. The beautiful hazel orbs swirled with deep brown, mossy green, and flecks of gold that reflected Kakashi's emotion, along with a considerable amount of surprise.

"Kiss him already, you moron!"

Popcorn kernels rained down on Kakashi's head, and he instantly straightened, knocking his head on Iruka's chin. They both swore under their breath, Kakashi holding the back of his head and Iruka rubbing his chin. Kakashi whipped around, and groaned loudly.

The Trio of Doom.

He should have known.

Kotetsu and Izumo each held now-empty bags of popcorn, having thrown it at Kakashi's head in protest. Anko, however, wielded a far worse weapon: a camera. Kakashi's eyes widened, but Iruka—knowing the trio far better—had already swooped in.

"Camera. Now." Iruka appeared beside Anko in an instant. His voice went low and dangerous, and he held out a hand demandingly. Kakashi had to admit…

It was really, _really_ hot.

_Do you like Iruka?_

…

Kakashi swore again.

Anko handed over the camera with a scowl before teaming up with Izumo to go after Kotetsu for "ruining their cover". Iruka clicked a button on the camera, and examined it intently. An intense blush lit up his face like a strawberry, and he rapidly pressed another button. Then another. And another. And another.

"…exactly how many pictures are there?" Kakashi raised an eyebrow after a moment.

Iruka looked up at him, then blushed, unable to look the Jounin in the eye after seeing the pictures, then looked back at the camera to delete a few more.

"…I blame Ibiki for teaching Anko that invisibility jutsu."

Kakashi winced.

"How long have they been stalking me, exactly?"

"…" Iruka paused, and cast a knowing look at the direction Anko and Izumo had chased Kotetsu. "Anko's never without her camera. The first picture of you is from right after the chunnin exam when you're covered in paint."

"Maa…you can delete that one." Kakashi laughed, somewhat awkwardly.

"I deleted them all." Iruka nodded, tossing the camera into the air. It disappeared with a poof of smoke. Kakashi raised an eyebrow in question, and Iruka sighed. "It's a chakra control thing. It's teleportation jutsu, controlled onto a specific object. I gave Anko her camera back."

"Now why in Kami's name would you do that?" Kakashi snorted.

"So she doesn't come back for it." Iruka answered with a knowing smirk.

There was a moment of awkward silence, where Iruka tried not to blush as he thought about how very, _very_ closeKakashi had been, and Kakashi tried very, _very_ hard to get Anko's words out of his head.

Neither of them was doing too well.

"Maa…let's get started then."

~.~.~.~.~

"Okay. So you know the basic ninjutsu of substitution, clones, etc..." Kakashi noted while Iruka dispersed the three clones at his side. "What about specialty ninjutsu? Fire, lightning, wood, that sort of thing?"  
"I know an earth jutsu, Earth Breaker no Jutsu. Climb a tree for a moment and I'll show you." Iruka waited until Kakashi was perched in a tree, then made the necessary hand seals and thrust his hands on the ground. The ground erupted, breaking into chunks and rippling with a surge of force. Iruka stopped it after a few feet, then turned to Kakashi, "I stopped it, but it has a range of about 200 feet in all directions."

"Hm." Kakashi nodded; he knew the handy jutsu well, "Anything else?"

"Showing them all would require a _lot _of water." Iruka laughed.

"Your element is water?" Kakashi frowned. He didn't know any water element chakra techniques off the top of his head.

"That, and my family is originally from Kirigakure." Iruka shrugged, "Water techniques were passed down in my clan scroll."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow, implying the obvious question.

Foreigners in ninja villages weren't exactly…common, to say the least. Or welcome, for that matter. Ninja are an incredibly suspicious breed—considering they deal daily in deception, forgery, lying, and flat-out killing anyone who stands in their way, they do have a considerable right to be suspicious. It was unusual, to say the least, for foreign civilians to be granted permission to from one ninja village to another; for an entire ninja clan to switch villages was all but unheard of, and Kakashi was sure that had this switch happened in his lifetime, he would have heard of it.

Iruka blindly ignored the question of his background, and instead moved on to list his techniques, counting them off on his fingers, "Hidden Mist no Jutsu, Mist Clone no Jutsu, Water Clone no Jutsu, Water Wall, Water Wave, Water Bullet, Tidal Wave no Jutsu, Aqua Prison, Explosive Water Shockwave, Water Dragon no Jutsu."

Kakashi whistled appreciatively, knowing how to perform most of them, and even more impressed that he didn't know a couple.

"As far as non-clan jutsu, I know the basics, of course, as well as a few fire jutsu, such as Phoenix Flower no Jutsu, and Grand Fireball no Jutsu." Iruka added.

"Where'd you learn those?" Kakashi had been under the impression that Grand Fireball no Jutsu was a strictly Uchiha clan jutsu.

"Sasuke. He taught me the signs to a few so I could help him improve his techniques. I don't think he was aware that they were secret." Iruka chuckled, then smiled faintly at the memory, "He was just so determined to master them, I didn't have the heart to tell him that I wouldn't be much help."

"Hn." Kakashi nodded, refusing to acknowledge the soft feeling in his gut when he saw the sweet smile on the teacher's face, "Well, alright. That's a good arsenal of ninjutsu, and a wide range too. Maa…why don't we test you weaponry skills next?"

"Alright. What do you want me to do, _sensei_?" Iruka teased.

"Show me the weapons you usually use. Then show me how you hold them, throw them, and utilize them. After that, I'll set up some targets and you can practice throwing them. The first three rounds just go for accuracy, not speed, and then the next three rounds just throw them as fast as you can without losing control of your accuracy." Kakashi listed off. Iruka nodded, then pulled out four kunai.

"One's a regular kunai," Iruka began, handing each kunai over to Kakashi to examine as he explained them, "I usually carry around five to ten of those. The second has an immobilizing poison in it. To use it, I'd have to dig at least the tip of the blade into the victim, then channel my chakra into it, and the poison would be released through the tip into their bloodstream. It affects the body in about 3 to five seconds. I usually only carry three, because they're incredibly expensive. The third kunai is expandable, and becomes a large shuriken. I carry one, sometimes two of those. The fourth is a chakra blade that becomes larger or smaller depending on how much chakra you put into it. It's useful in surprising your enemies when they think your blade won't reach that far, and you extend it. I carry about five of them."

Kakashi turned the fourth blade over in his hands, marveling at the craftsmanship. He channeled some chakra in it to test it out.

Nothing.

"Maa…sensei?" Kakashi raised an eyebrow at the weapon, then looked to Iruka. "Does it only respond to you?"

"Hm? No. Here, move your hand like this…" Iruka put a hand over Kakashi's on the weapon, and changed his grip so that Kakashi's pointer finger and middle finger were extended on the hilt of the blade, "Now channel your chakra through those two fingers only. It doesn't work if you channel it through your whole hand, or through the palm. It's specialized so unless your enemy is relatively weapons-specialized, they won't know what to do with it."

Kakashi missed the entire instruction past the part where Iruka put a hand on his. Kakashi's hands were calloused and scratched and worn, and his fingernails were the normal length, if a little rough at the edges. A shinobi's hands.

The hand that closed around his was warm and gentle, guiding his hand into the correct position. The hands were a little scratched, but still impossibly smooth and soft. His nails were rough and bitten, and Kakashi wanted to laugh at the thought of the chunnin actually biting his nails; it just fit the man perfectly.

He was a capable shinobi, yet he was unlike any shinobi Kakashi had ever met. He was sweet and kind, yet cunning and quite devious. He was respectful and polite, yet could be volatile and had a crazy temper. He was Iruka, and that was that.

_Do you like Iruka?_

Kakashi jerked his hands away instantly.

"Look, I got it, alright?" Kakashi bit out, his words having more of a sting than he meant them to. Expecting the chunnin to be hurt, he immediately began to apologize, "Ah, I didn't-"

"You don't have to be rude about it, jackass!" Iruka knocked him over the head, and Kakashi's eyes went wide in surprise. He was quick to regain his composure at the insult.

"Don't hit me, chunnin!" Kakashi exclaimed.

"Then don't earn it, dipshit." Iruka snorted.

"Pretty colorful language for a teacher." Kakashi remarked with a scowl.

"Pretty stupid actions for a Jounin." Iruka shrugged back.

"Like you're any better."

"I've seen pre-genin with more social sense than you."

"You have not."

"_Naruto _has better social sense than you."

"He does not!"

"He's doesn't wear a mask 24/7."  
"No, he wears _orange _instead."

"Okay, point taken. But at least he doesn't read porn in public."  
"No, just hangs out at women's bathhouses."

"Now that's Jiraiya fault, not his."  
"Blame who you will, but he's certainly not looking away."

"Fine, fine. But at least he has the ability to be within a foot of someone without flinching_._" Iruka snickered.

"I don't flinch!" Kakashi protested with a scowl.

"Oh _please._" Iruka laughed, "Every time someone comes within a foot of you, you flinch away."

"I do _not!_"

"Oh really?"

Iruka was suddenly very, very close. It was like when Kakashi slipped on the tree, only they were eye level. Iruka's tan features had a smirk on them, wanting to prove Kakashi wrong. His hazel eyes danced with a warm spark of teasing, but when he made eye contact with Kakashi, they softened to a more serious, hesitant look. It occurred to him that Iruka was an inch or so shorter than him, the perfect height for Kakashi to reach down, pull Iruka in and capture those soft, red lips with his…

_Do you like Iruka?_

Hell, Kakashi was beginning to think that maybe he did. That maybe he did have certain feelings for the tan chunnin. Maybe that was why he couldn't think with the head on his shoulders. Maybe…just maybe…he really did like Iruka.

Only one way to find out, right?


	8. Chapter 8

**Iruka's POV**

Kakashi's visible eye looked different. The usual teasing, dancing blue color had become a more determined silver, and the tall Copy Nin leaned down slightly, until Iruka could feel his soft breath tickling his face. Kakashi gently tugged Iruka's chin up, and placed his other hand on the sensei's waist, pulling him in closer.

Time stopped between their lips, caught like a butterfly pressed between the pages of a book when cloth-covered lips brushed Iruka's in a tender, yet firm kiss.

Iruka's eyes went wide, before slowly fluttering closed. He put his hands hesitantly on the Jounin's chest and returned the kiss. Kakashi broke away for a moment, but before Iruka could even open his eyes, Kakashi was kissing him again, this time with warm, uncovered lips.

The kiss moved from gentle to wanting, their mouths moving in sync as Kakashi pressed Iruka up against a nearby tree. Iruka's hands moved to Kakashi's face, feeling the smooth skin for the first time. Kakashi shuddered slightly, unused to feeling anything other than a mask touch his face. He then pressed kisses along Iruka's jaw, hoping to elicit the same reaction from the other. He made his way to the base of Iruka's neck, and gave a small bite, earning him a soft moan from the sensei.

**Two Yards Away**

"Hot fucking _damn._" Anko whispered reverently.

"Bout time he gets some." Kotetsu grinned.

"Looks like Kakashi knows what he's doin' too." Izumo whistled.

"No shit." Kotetsu agreed with a shake of his head, "Gotta wonder if we sent Iruka-kun in over his head…"

"Nah. Ruru-oto's got some spice to him." Anko gave Kotetsu a sidelong grin, "He'll handle Kakashi just fine. It's Kakashi we should worry about."

"I'd have to agree with Anko. Iruka can look after himself, apparently." Izumo smirked with a gesture to the duo, where Iruka was giving as good as he got. Anko whistled.

"That's gonna be one mother-fucker of a hickey."

"Did you see the one Kakashi gave Iruka though? Betcha he's gonna be wearing turtlenecks for a week at _least._" Kotetsu snorted.

"You're on, I give it four days tops." Izumo rolled his eyes derisively.

"Didja _see _the way Kakashi was sucking on his neck? Kid's a fucking vampire." Anko shook her head, "I agree with Kotetsu, a week at least, two tops."

"What about Kakashi?" Izumo looked back to the duo, "Iruka-kun's giving him quite the hickey. How long d'you think that one'll last?"

"Does it matter?" Kotetsu snorted, "Kakashi's gonna wear it like a badge either way."

"Seriously?" Izumo raised an eyebrow.

"Doesn't really strike you as the type to hide it, does he?" Kotetsu pointed out.

"The _real _bet is if Iruka-kun's gonna be embarrassed or pissed that Kakashi won't cover it." Anko grinned. Kotetsu and Izumo exchanged glances.

"Pissed."

~.~.~.~.~

"I don't think that was a part of today's testing." Iruka remarked with a chuckle, finally pulling away.

"Really? I could have sworn making out was a vital ninja skill." Kakashi frowned slightly. Even a frown looked utterly gorgeous on his pale face.

"You're an idiot." Iruka looked away, a deep blush coloring his cheeks at the thought.

"Only for you." Kakashi just smiled, nuzzling Iruka's shoulder.

"And a sap too, apparently." Iruka rolled his eyes with a laugh.

"You know you love it." Kakashi stuck his tongue out smugly.

"Be that as it may…what are we going to do when Tsunade asks what we've been doing for the training sessions?" Iruka pouted slightly.

"I told you." Kakashi gave a mock-sigh, trying to cover his blush at how cute Iruka looked when he pouted, "We're working on our ninja skills."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, really. Now shut up and kiss me again already."

"Who am I to object to such a rational request?"

~.~.~.~.~

"...we now _officially _have enough blackmail pictures to hand out to every ninja in every hidden village in the country." Anko grinned, taking one last snapshot of the duo.

"Good. We're gonna need it when they find out we were watching the whole time." Kotetsu grinned back.

"Well, they wouldn't have known the _first _time, if _someone _hadn't thrown popcorn at them!" Izumo grumbled.

"Yeah, but their lips were like an _inch_ apart! And that shithead Kakashi wasn't goin' for it!" Kotetsu complained, "He's lucky I didn't do for them what I did for Asunai and just bash their heads together…"

"Asu-what?" Anko raised an eyebrow.

"Asunai." The duo promptly replied.

"Asuma-"

"And Kurenai-"

"Makes Asunai." The duo repeated, seeming proud of themselves.

"…" Anko's blank look quickly became a feral grin, "You have these…couple names for all the couples you see, don't you?"

"Of course." Izumo rolled his eyes.

"Duh." Kotetsu snorted.

"Like…?"

"Gaizune."

"Tsunaiya."

"Shikamari."

"Sasuto."

"Karuka."

"Gendou."

"And of course…" Kotetsu trailed off with a grin. He shot a knowing glance at Izumo.

"Ibiko." They duo chimed.

"Ibi…ko? Ibiki…and…" Anko paused. Realization dawned, and her eyes flew wide. She let out a wild screech before racing after the duo that had long since disappeared, screaming profanities all the way.

~.~.~.~.~

Kakashi broke away slowly, somewhat reluctantly, and leaned back against the tree.

"So." He cast a sideways grin at Iruka, who was looking adorably confused at having the kissing end, "Wanna play a game?"  
"I thought we were." Iruka teased.

"Funny. But I mean a real game." Kakashi thought it over.  
"…you're making this up as you go along, aren't you?" Iruka asked, amusement clear in his voice. He chuckled, and laid down with his head in Kakashi's lap while the Copy Nin thought things over.  
"Of course I am. And how about this…I'll tell you two truths and a lie about me, and you have to guess which one's the lie. If get it wrong, you have to give me a kiss." Kakashi smiled down at the chunnin in his lap.

"That's ridiculous." Iruka shook his head. Kakashi was about to protest, and argue for his brilliant idea, when Iruka laughed, "Why would I ever want to get it right then?"

"Maa…point taken. If you _win_, you get a kiss from a charming Copy Nin. Sound fair?" Kakashi smirked.

"Sounds perfect." Iruka laughed.

"Alright…" Kakashi mused, running his hands absent-mindedly through the chocolate strands of Iruka's hair, "One: I was once an ANBU Captain. Two: I graduated at six. Three: My team number is 8."

Iruka looked up at Kakashi. Kakashi looked down at Iruka.

Iruka burst into laughter.

"Hey…" Kakashi frowned, "What's so funny?"  
"You don't know how to play this game at all, do you?" Iruka laughed.

"So?" Kakashi grumbled.

"I'm sorry, but you have to admit, it's a little funny." Iruka chuckled, pressing a soft kiss of apology to Kakashi's cheek.

"Maa, let's see you do better then sensei." Kakashi challenged.

"Alright, I will." Iruka grinned, "One: I once ran all the way to Suna in a day. Two: I owned my first pet when I was four, a cat. Three: On the first night after bringing it home, the cat ate my goldfish, shredded my blankets, and vomited up a mixture of cat food and goldfish on my floor before disappearing into the night forever."

"That's…ridiculous. The third's a lie of course." Kakashi scoffed.

"Nope." Iruka grinned, "The second is. The first pet I owned was a goldfish. My _second _was a grouchy cat that ate said goldfish. Traumatized me for life, of course."

"How on earth did you get to Suna in a day?"

"Gai." Iruka sighed, "I was on a mission with him, and he kept pushing me to go faster and faster and faster, and…well, we were at Suna before I even realized it. I couldn't walk for days."

"Ah. I shouldn't have asked; of course Gai was involved." Kakashi shook his head.

"Generally, the more detailed it is, the less likely it's a lie." Iruka offered as advice, then sat up halfway to press his lips to Kakashi's in a passionate kiss.

"Maa…and here I thought I lost." Kakashi grinned when they broke apart.

"You did. That's why I kissed you instead of you kissing me." Iruka smirked.

"I like how you think, sensei."

"Your turn, Kakashi. And just for kicks, try telling me something I wouldn't learn by looking at your mission room file." Iruka winked, settling back down in Kakashi's lap. Kakashi smiled, and leaned back against the tree again, trying to think of something Iruka would find interesting.

"Hmm…well…" Kakashi pondered, "One: My ninken are quite thoroughly convinced I will die alone, and bring it up every chance they get. Two: I have a ninken that refuses to speak to humans, even me. Three: My hair isn't naturally silver."

"Three's a lie." Iruka grinned, and, without waiting for it to be confirmed, claimed his prize. When they broke apart he added, "Although I wish you'd try telling me something about you, and not your ninken."

"Maa…most of my life facts aren't exactly first date material, Iruka. My past's a bit…" Kakashi searched for the correct word, and sighed upon finding it, "…morbid."

"We're ninja, Kakashi." Iruka smiled, then gave a small chuckle, "Since when are there dating rules for people who go around breathing fire, transforming into logs, and shoving balls of lightning through people's lungs?"

"…point taken."

"If I tell you something about me…will you do the same?"

Kakashi got the feeling it was a different kind of truth they were exchanging, a kind that, at least on Kakashi's part, shouldn't be shared. But somehow, Kakashi found himself tempted to tell Iruka anyway. He had a feeling that Iruka that could be trusted not to tell everyone.

He also got the distinct feeling that Iruka had somehow managed to not only cross, but leap over the walls that Kakashi had set up between himself and 'everyone'.

"Sure." Kakashi smiled softly.

"…I was born in Kirigakure."

Kakashi looked at Iruka in surprise. Earlier Iruka had let slip that his family was originally from Kirigakure; surprising, yes, but another thing entirely from actually being _born _there. Clan's switching villages hadn't been allowed in the past fifty years or more. Since then, the list of single civilians switching was short, the list of single ninja were in the single digits.

A whole _clan?_

In his _lifetime?_

"Impossible…" Kakashi murmured.

"You'd think." Iruka nodded, "Still blows my mind sometimes that it happened at all."

"…_how?_"

"Minato-sama, mainly. If it weren't for him, I'd still be in Kirigakure."

"…man, that guy can even hook me up from beyond the grave. Now that's a feat worth mentioning." Kakashi whistled.

"You're such a sap, honestly…" Iruka blushed crimson.

"Maa…you know it's true." Kakashi grinned, before his face faded to a thoughtful look. "So, how did you manage to convince him? And why did you move in the first place? Not that I'm complaining, of course."

"Of course." Iruka rolled his eyes, "Well, it's a long story…"

"I've got time." Kakashi smiled, and Iruka beamed back before beginning.

"Well…you know about Kirigakure's coup d'etat, right?"

"Mm…the basics." Kakashi mused thoughtfully, trying to remember his History, "A group of radicals overthrew the Mizukage and tried to exterminate all blood lines?"

"Basically, yes. And the Umino's were a large part of that. I won't go into details, but I will say that my grandfather was one of the leaders of the group that originally overthrew the Mizukage, and essentially all of my relatives were involved at some point in the bloodline massacre that occurred afterwards. Kiri was in utter chaos. Whole clan's were being slaughtered daily by the time I was born. My mother didn't want me to grow up in a village like that, so she and my father took me and ran. Konoha was the most logical place to go, at the time. Minato-sama was incredibly sympathetic, given that his wife, Kushina-san, was a foreigner herself. They allowed us to move to Konoha on the condition that the switch be kept quiet, so that on the off-chance anyone came looking for us, they wouldn't cause trouble for Konoha. Part of that agreement was that none of us could become Jounin."

"No Umino will ever be Jounin? That's a complete waste of your clan's talent!" Kakashi protested, and was about to argue more, when Iruka shushed him with a smile.

"No, no. It only applies to my mother, my father and I, the ones who were there for the switch. It's to ensure that no one can trace our water techniques back to Kiri. This is…undocumented. Sarutobi-sama never knew, and neither does Tsunade. So Kakashi..." Iruka paused, hesitant.

"I won't say word." Kakashi gave Iruka a reassuring smile.

"Good." Iruka breathed a sigh of relief, the secret off his shoulders for the first time in years. He smiled apologetically, "Sorry to unload all that on you."

"Ruka?"

"Hm?" Iruka blushed at the nickname.

"I'm lying against a tree, lazing away a Sunday afternoon with Konoha's most handsome bachelor's head in my lap. I want to listen to whatever you want to say." Kakashi smiled, brushing a stray hair out of the chunnin's eyes. Iruka promptly turned a bright shade of red, before sitting up and kissing Kakashi tenderly.

Kakashi found he had himself a new truth: this was the best day of his life.


	9. Chapter 9

"Hey hey! Tsunade-sama!" A pale, skinny girl, about nine to ten years old raced into Tsunade's office. The girl had long black hair in a ponytail that swished behind her, and sharp blue eyes.

Tsunade blinked.

"Hey, wait up Haruka!" A boy a couple years older than the girl, Haruka, yelped as he came crashing into Tsunade's office moments after the girl. He was larger, in a muscular sort of way, had bright red hair sticking up in all directions and enthusiastic emerald eyes.

"What on earth are you two doing in my office? Why didn't ANBU stop you?" Tsunade questioned the children. They didn't look familiar. Why would ANBU let them in?

"Riko pulled my hair!" Haruka proclaimed, blue eyes wide with distraught.

"Yeah, cause Haruka called me fat!" Riko accused, pointing a finger at the girl with a pout.

Tsunade wondered how wrong it would be to throw children out the window.

Then she felt the chakra spike, so sudden and miniscule that any ordinary ninja wouldn't have even picked it up. Tsunade was Tsunade however, and she laughed at ordinary ninja. Tsunade hummed thoughtfully, examining the duo.

"If you can fool me for the moment you did, I suppose you have a chance with this mission. Drop the jutsu."

"Hai." The children nodded.

There was a poof of smoke, and before her stood the ANBU she had requested. Operative Crane, a taller, more poised version of the girl, "Haruka", and Operative Dragon, a larger, stronger version of the boy, "Riko". He may have been bulky with muscle, but his movements were precise and controlled, indicative of someone well-versed in stealth. Perfect.

"I have the mission scroll for you." Tsunade tossed the scroll lightly between them, to see who would take it, and subsequently who would lead the mission.

Dragon didn't move a muscle, and Crane delicately plucked it out of the air. Tsunade got the feeling that the duo had worked together before, and though Crane may seem to be the more delicate one, it was obvious from their movements and acknowledgements of each other, that she was very much the leader.

Crane unfurled the scroll, and Dragon read over her shoulder.

**Mission Type:** Information Gathering

**Grade:** A

**Objective:** Retrieve information on Umino Iruka.

**Purpose:**

-To determine Umino's eligibility for Jounin Exam.

-To determine that Umino is not a hazard to the village.

-To determine Umino's purpose for resisting the Jounin Exam.

**Mission Restrictions:**

-Umino is extremely adept at sensing and controlling chakra. Do not, under any circumstances, tail him directly.

**Mission Parameters:**

** -**Hatake Kakashi has been assigned to help with the investigation, and will be buddying up to Umino.

-Tail Hatake.

-Silently and unobtrusively observe all of their encounters.

-Hatake will retrieve the information—it is your duty to record and report back all relevant information.

-Watch their first interaction, then report back with your initial assessment.

-After the initial assessment, subsequent assessments will be turned in to the Hokage on a weekly basis until the Jounin exams.

**Mission Operatives: ** Hatake Kakashi, ANBU Crane, ANBU Dragon

~.~.~.~.~

"I swear to fucking Kami I'll fucking kill that fucking son of a bitch! That fucking dirty rotten _bastard!_" Anko swore vehemently, shaking her camera, "They're _gone!_"

"Waf's gown?" Izumo said through a mouthful of dango. Kotetsu elbowed him, hard, and Izumo choked. But it was too late.

"The Karuka pictures!" Anko screeched, her eyes going feral as she advanced on Izumo, emphasizing each point with a wild wave of her hands, "That fucking bastard fucking messed with my fucking camera! I told that fucker that if he ever even fucking thought about screwing with my fucking camera I'd kill him! But noooo that fucking dickwad went and screwed with my fucking camera and now the fucking Karuka pictures are _gone!"_

Anko continued to wail, but Kotetsu just sighed.

"Never talk to her if she uses "fuck" more than three times in a sentence. Ever." Kotetsu shook his head at Izumo knowingly.

"I know! I forgot." Izumo groaned.

"Fuck" and its various conjugations was Anko's favorite cuss word of all time, and could actually be quite useful in judging her mood.

Once? No danger, other than the normal, it's-Anko-be-afraid-ness.

Twice? Don't let her near sharp objects.

Three times? Don't let her near any objects.

Four times? Don't let her near anything or anyone you don't want dead, mauled, or destroyed.

"I'm sure Iruka didn't _mean _to mess with your camera…" Izumo tried, but he knew it was pointless.

He should have known Iruka would do more than delete pictures when he stole Anko's camera. He just wouldn't be Iruka if he didn't.

"What did he do exactly?" Kotetsu examined it curiously.

"That mother fucker put one of his fucking special jutsus on it! I don't even fucking know what it fucking is! All I know is that none of the fucking pictures I take will fucking save! They get fucking deleted as soon as they're fucking taken!"

Kotetsu turned the camera over and stared.

"Um, Izumo, get ready to run." Kotetsu laughed. Izumo shrugged and nodded.

"Why?" Anko's eyes narrowed.

"It's not a jutsu." Kotetsu snickered, "Iruka just stole your memory card!"

~.~.~.~.~

Konoha's second most dangerous nin—second only to the Hokage, and even that was questionable at times—the infamous Copy Ninja Sharingan no Kakashi, man of a thousand jutsu, was humming.

It was a merry little tune, one of those damned cheery jingles that get caught up in your head and you can't help but think it. If you're feeling particularly happy, you might hum it under your breath, or whistle a few notes. At least, if you're a civilian. Maybe even a genin, or pre-genin. Ninja, however, did not do these things. Least of all deadly ex-ANBU such as Hatake Kakashi.

Yet, there he was, walking down the street with his nose in his book as always, humming. His facial expression was as closed-off as always, his demeanor as apathetic as usual, his walk as slow and meandering as was standard for the easygoing nin. But one could hear a slight humming from his general direction. Fellow Jounin immediately dismissed the sound as obviously coming from somewhere else. Chunnin blinked twice, before shaking their heads and deciding that the pressure must be getting to them. Genin just gaped.

"…no way." Sasuke's dark eyes widened considerably, and he nearly slipped from his position atop the tree stump at the training grounds. It was his shift to play lookout for Kakashi, so when he spoke, Naruto and Sakura both perked up.

"Sasuke-kun?" Sakura blinked, raising a pink eyebrow at her crush, curious as to what had him so out of sorts.

"It's Kakashi-sensei…I think…" Sasuke mumbled.

The lone figure approaching them certainly looked like Kakashi. But all three were instantly on their feet and on guard when they heard the merry humming coming from their "teacher".

"Shut up teme! That's obviously not Bakashi-sensei, and I'm gonna find out who it is!" Naruto exclaimed.

The fox-child let loose five shuriken and raced forward. Kakashi caught them easily, raising a single eyebrow at the attack, while Naruto ducked under his arm and lashed out with a low kick. Kakashi easily grabbed Naruto's leg and held the ninja-in-training upside down and examined the child.

"Maa…while your tenacity is admirable, might I suggest an attack I don't see coming from a mile away?"

"Shut up Bakashi-sensei imposter!" Naruto growled, swiping out with his fists. They met air. The imposter dropped him, and he charged forward again, only to be knocked back.

"Imposter?" Kakashi raised an eyebrow.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes, activating his sharingan.

"…it's Kakashi." Sasuke shrugged.

"Nu-uh!" Naruto argued.

"Kakashi-sensei, why were you humming?" Sakura tilted her head in confusion.

"Hm? I was unaware it was such an awful thing. I'll keep that in mind." Kakashi chuckled. "But if you're all finished, we might want to get on with training, ne?"

"…okay, that is _definitely _not Kakashi-sensei." Sakura determined.

"Since when do you want to train us?" Sasuke asked edgily.

"Since I have important things to do and getting this out of the way is a priority." Kakashi smiled his signature agree-with-me-or-die smile, and the three shivered. Naruto got over it first.

"What's so important to you, Bakashi-sensei? You don't care about anything!" Naruto declared.

"Maa…maybe I do, maybe I don't."

"No you don't! You're more antisocial than Sasuke!"

"Shut up dobe."

"You shut up teme!"

Why oh why did Ruka have to go teach at the Academy and leave him to deal with training these brats? His ears were hurting already.

"Okay!" Kakashi clapped his hands for attention, "We're sparring on water today. Naruto, Sasuke—go."

After the initial arguing and complaining about being paired with "that teme" or "the dobe", the two began the spar while Kakashi and Sakura sat nearby to watch. Kakashi then told Sakura to watch for any mistakes in either boy's form, and remember any mistakes she found. He would watch with his sharingan, and see how many—if any—she saw.

After a couple moments though, Kakashi could feel his mind drifting.

It had been a week since he'd kissed Iruka, and nearly two since he'd been assigned to prep the sensei for the Jounin Exams. Not that it really mattered, since he didn't really bother teaching the chunnin anymore. They technically fulfilled their duty of everyday training, but it was usually only about an hour of playful sparring before it dissolved from an attempt at training to more of a date. They'd end up anywhere from the top of the Hokage Mountain to a quiet pond Iruka had shown him, buried deep in the forest.

A bell rang in the distance, and Kakashi quickly stood. Sasuke's sharingan caught the movement and he glanced away for a split second, giving Naruto enough of an opening to land a hard blow to the Uchiha's shoulder, nearly dislodging it. Sasuke hissed in pain, Naruto cheered, and Sakura was already yelling at Naruto about hurting Sasuke while rushing to the pale teen's aid. Kakashi glanced at them, then shrugged his shoulders. Eh. They were fine.

With that thought, he disappeared.

~.~.~.~.~

"Don't forget, those essays are due tomorrow!" Iruka called after the pre-genin, but the reminder was lost on the crowd as they bolted for the door. As the last one disappeared, he sighed and dropped his head to the desk.

"Long day, sensei?" Kakashi's words tickled in his ear, and Iruka relaxed immediately.

"You have _no _idea." Iruka leaned back into Kakashi's chest, and pale arms snaked their way around the tan sensei's waist. Iruka grinned and looked up, "Seems to be getting better though. So what do you have planned for training today, _sensei?_"

"Maa…I was thinking we could start with a little of this…" Kakashi closed the gap between them, kissing Iruka tenderly. The kiss slowly built, until tongues were battling heatedly. Kakashi sucked lightly on a soft spot near the sensei's jugular, and Iruka moaned in pleasure. Iruka turned around in his chair, and Kakashi lifted the chunnin up so that he was on his desk, murmured huskily when they broke the kiss for air, "Then we could try some of this…"

Kakashi tugged at the hem of Iruka's shirt, his pale hands already brushing over the tan abs hidden underneath. Before Iruka could shrug off his vest however, they both turned at the soft 'click' from the doorway.

Frozen in the doorway was a very scarred young child.

"Areyousurethisiswhereyouwere stabbed?"

For all his training, Kakashi was never a very quick thinker when it came to these things, but the ridiculous lie rolled off his tongue before he could think about how stupid it sounded.

"Uh…" Iruka spared Kakashi a weird look that clearly said '_that _was the best you could think of?', then ignored it and played along, "Ow? I mean, ow! Yeah, right there. I, um, got it on a mission yesterday but didn't think it was that bad."

Iruka laughed weakly, and Kakashi feigned sympathy.

"You should've had it looked at sensei. I'll take you to the nurse, she can probably heal it." Kakashi pulled his hand out from under Iruka's shirt, and Iruka hopped off the desk to address the child.

"Oh, hello. What can I do for you?" Iruka smiled widely.

"Sensei got stabbed?" the girl's eyes were wide in amazement.

"Don't worry Moegi-chan, it's nothing big. Just a small cut. Kakashi-san was just exaggerating…right Kakashi-san?"

"Right Ruk-" Kakashi began, before Iruka elbowed him, "Iruka-sensei."

"Oh." Moegi looked at the duo curiously for a moment. Kakashi and Iruka exchanged glances.

"Is something wrong, Moegi?" Iruka prodded.

"Is that a bruise sensei? It looks weird." Moegi declared at last, pointing to a rather large, light purple mark on Iruka's jugular.

"Maa, it's a _special _kind of bru-" Kakashi leered, but stopped when Iruka elbowed him again, this time hard enough to leave the Copy Nin breathless.

"I received the bruise on a mission." Iruka finished with a glare at a still-smirking Kakashi.

"Then why's it special?"

"…" Iruka blinked widely, then managed to add-lib, "Because I got it serving my village. Is there something you needed, Moegi?"  
"Oh! I left my books!" Moegi raced to her desk.

"I'm a 'mission', now am I?" Kakashi whispered in Iruka's ear, "Do you have fun when you 'serve the village' with me sensei?"

Iruka blushed bright crimson, and prayed to Kami that the girl wouldn't notice.

"Bye sensei!" Moegi called as she left.

"Bye Moegi-chan." Iruka coughed, before rounding on Kakashi, "Why you shameless pervert! She hadn't even left the room before you were—mm!"

In the (far too short, in Kakashi's opinion) time he had been dating the sensei, Kakashi had quickly learned that Iruka's rants didn't tend to mean much. Sure, he was feisty and loud and could scare a room of Jounin, that was a given, and he certainly meant _those _threats. But his rants to Kakashi? Eh. Not so much. Kakashi had learned through experience that a kiss usually ended all argument and started much more…entertaining activities. Besides, if it was really important, Iruka would shove him off and keep ranting. But…that had yet to happen, so Kakashi was far more inclined to continue with his own methods of ending their little 'arguments'.

As Kakashi continued to…derail Iruka's argument so to speak, two pairs of eyes watched through the window. As Crane and Dragon watched impassively, the only notice they gave of being surprised at Kakashi actions was Crane raising a slender eyebrow, and Dragon giving a soft snort, the sound of which was easily covered by the hushed moans emitting from the classroom. They exchanged a glance.

This might be something to include in the initial assessment.


	10. Chapter 10

"Tsunade-sama." Crane nodded to Tsunade as she entered, Dragon following silently behind her.

Tsunade looked up at their entrance. Dismissing Shizune with a nod, she immediately put aside her paperwork. The team had been gone nearly a week now, far longer than expected. She had asked for an initial assessment after their first interaction, and she highly doubted the duo hadn't interacted at least once in a week—hell, they were supposed to be meeting every day for training. She didn't need to vocalize her irritation at her direct order being ignored; she knew they already knew. She waited for an explanation.

"Sorry, Hokage-sama. We felt it would be inadequate to report back after their first meeting." Crane apologized, and they both bowed low.

"What gave you that impression?" Tsunade demanded in a clipped tone. She didn't take being ignored well.

"The 'impressions' Hatake left on Umino's ass." Dragon snorted, before Crane smacked him in the chest.

"It's not funny." She hissed.

"Not at all." Dragon shook his head hastily in agreement, quickly composing himself.

Tsunade just quirked an eyebrow, waiting for the report to make sense of their banter.

"Began tailing Hatake after receiving mission parameters at 13:18. Hatake began training Team 7 at 14:32, notably three hours and thirty-two minutes later than the time he designated." Crane gave a small, disapproving click of her tongue, but continued, "At exactly 15:00, Hatake promptly left his team alone; it should be noted that when he disappeared they simply continued to train without so much as glancing up. They seemed used to his sudden disappearance, indicating a trend. After a few moments tracking we were able to once again locate Hatake and found him at the Academy, where he proceeded to have relations of a familiar nature with Umino. There was obvious indication of a precedent."

"English, Crane." Tsunade sighed. She felt the beginnings of a headache creep up on her, and she didn't have the patience to decipher Crane's delicately phrased sentence.

"Hatake fucked the teacher, and he's done it before." Dragon inserted somewhat gleefully. Tsunade froze and her eyes widened considerably, but she quickly regained her general composure.

"I…see. Not the method I thought Hatake would use to get close to Iruka, but I'm sure it's quite effective." Tsunade replied somewhat icily, "Let's just hope he knows what he's doing, hm?"

With that thought and a heavy sigh, Tsunade downed another cup of sake.

~.~.~.~.~

"Kakashi-bastard is helping the mission zombie's spy on Iruka-kun!" Kotetsu and Izumo exclaimed, barreling into Anko's apartment.

Anko, used to Kotetsu and Izumo charging into her apartment (aka Headquarters) at all times of the day and night, didn't move from the table. She just glanced at the clock; only 9:30pm? Wow, better than their usual 2am antics.

"Mithun thombies?" Anko questioned through a mouth of dango. The duo blindly ignored her.

"They wanna play their zombie mind games on Iruka-kun-!" Izumo continued worriedly.

"And they got Kakashi-bastard to help-!" Kotetsu growled.

"And now he's smexing it up with our little Iruka-kun-!"

"Only because Slugkage told him to-!"  
"And the mission zombie's are watching-!"

"Lucky bastards."

"I know! But they aren't just watching the Karuka smex-!

"They're also spying on Iruka-kun -!"  
"Cause they think Iruka-kun's got some big secret to hide-!"

"And they think that if Kakashi-bastard smexes him up a little-!"

"Iruka-kun'll trust Kakashi-bastard and tell him everything-!"

"Which of course he _will, _cause Iruka-kun's an innocent soul-!"  
"And he trusts people, even if they don't deserve it-!"

"Like Kakashi-bastard!"

"Yeah, and then Kakashi-bastard will report to Slugkage and the mission zombies-!"

"And then they'll take Iruka-kun away for good-!"

"And he'll never be an awesome Jounin-!"

"And-!"

SHUT UP!" Anko finally shouted, socking both men in the head forcefully.

"Owww!" They moaned in unison.

"Speak clearly for the love of Kami! What. Are you. Talking about!"

"No need to be so rude, Ko-nii." Kotetsu mumbled petulantly.

"Yeah! We're just trying to save Iruka-kun from the mission zombies!"

"…you two are officially more fucked up than me. Congratulations." Anko grinned widely, "Now what the hell are mission zombies, who's the Slugkage, and why do you keep calling Kakashi a bastard?  
"Mission zombies…" Izumo gestured to Kotetsu.

"Are ANBU." Kotetsu answered with a disapproving shake of his head, "Slugkage…"

"Is Lady Tsunade." Izumo supplied, "And Kakashi's a bastard…"

"Because he's only dating Iruka-kun on a mission." Izumo growled, "And that's messing with Iruka-kun's head, and that's _not _allowed."

"Hell to the no it's not!" Anko jumped up with snarl, "Are you shitting me? They've been dating two weeks now, the fuck kind of mission is that?! And how the fuck did _you_ find out?"  
"Well, we were doing our daily catch-up…"

_Flashback_

"_Kotetsu, Izumo, take these files down to the mission room." Tsunade gestured to the folders stacked on her desk. As the duo stepped forward, she instructed, "They've already been signed, so you can tell the late-night shift workers that these are the last of the days mission receipts. Inform them that they need to have payment information copied and filed, and the rest burned by morning. Understood?"_

"_Hai." The duo recited and bowed, before taking the files loaded on Tsunade's desk and leaving the room._

_Instead of taking the winding stairs all the way down to the mission room, they went two flights before ducking into their usual side closet. The tea was already boiling, the dango laid out, and the table set. The duo grinned at each other, before setting in on their task: keeping up on village gossip._

_After half an hour of flipping through files, they had learned a decent days gossip. Asuma had definitely pissed off Kurenai again; a genin-level mission to repair the couple's favorite restaurant's wall had planted the thought, a request from Asuma for a two-week mission out to "anywhere but here" had confirmed it. They now also had definite confirmation that the youngest Nara boy had it bad for the sand chick with a fan—Temari or something. The laziest ninja in town had gone to the trouble of requesting a democracy mission—which were troublesome in and of themselves—to Suna. Plus, democracy missions in Suna meant dealing with Gaara. Kotetsu and Izumo had whistled at that one: the kid must really have it bad._

_They had also uncovered the possibility that Raidou had made ANBU—there was a mission for a new ANBU initiation at midnight tonight, and Raidou had looked really nervous earlier. They'd tried to convince him to come out drinking with them to ease his nerves (and coax out of him what was making him nervous of course), but he had turned them down, claiming, "Next time for sure. But I need to be sober for this one, guys."_

_Suspicious? Highly._

_But before they could think too much about their buddy joining the mission zombie ranks, they uncovered gold._

"_Holy shit! Kotetsu, look at this!" Izumo exclaimed, unfurling a document labeled neatly as Mission Umino Iruka._

"The mission said Kakashi-bastard was supposed to buddy up to Iruka-kun." Izumo explained.

"Meanwhile, the mission zombies would follow him every step of the way." Kotetsu added.

"Cause our Iruka-kun's way too awesome at chakra to not notice them tailing him."

"Exactly. But the mission _didn't _say Kakashi-bastard had to date him, or smex him up."

"So Kakashi-bastard's just doing it to fuck with Iruka-kun's head!"

"Which is _not _okay!"

"Yeah!"

"…come on you two, I think I'm in the mood to hand a certain Copy Nin his ass." Anko growled darkly.

~.~.~.~.~

Kakashi frowned.

"You okay?" Iruka raised an eyebrow at him.

They were lying in a clearing deep in the woods near the village. It was nearing midnight, and the stars shone brightly above the treetops as the moonlight reflected in a small lake nearby. It was beautiful, and they were enjoying every moment of it. The shinobi life was hectic, and between Kakashi's missions and training team 7, and Iruka's Academy lessons and mission room shift, they didn't have as much time together as they would have liked.

But it was Friday, and that meant no school tomorrow, so Iruka could sleep in if he happened to be up late. And Kakashi very much intended for him to be up late. So after walking the sensei home from school, the sharingan user had mysteriously informed Iruka to prepare for the unexpected later that night. Naturally, when Iruka had expressed his confusion, he had been shushed with a kiss and told to look underneath the underneath before the Jounin had disappeared in a poof of smoke and leaves.

Sometime around seven, Iruka had been whisked away from his apartment (honestly, Jounin and that jutsu!) and into the gorgeous clearing they lay now.

Kakashi had prepared a picnic, and they'd eaten while watching the sun set. Once the sun dipped low beneath the sky, Kakashi had taken Iruka's hand and they'd danced beneath the stars. Neither spared a thought to the lack of music, instead listening to the hum of fireflies and the steady rhythm of the others heart. There had been a fair amount of kisses and soft touches stolen here and there, but that didn't seem to be quite what the night was all about. Finally, after dancing for hours but seemed like only moments, they laid back in the grass, Iruka's head on Kakashi's chest, and watched the stars.

Now, when Kakashi frowned, Iruka's hand squeezed his.

"What's wrong?"

"Hm? Nothing, nothing." Kakashi squeezed Iruka's hand reassuringly in return.

Iruka just silently raised an eyebrow. Kakashi's shoulders were tensed, and Iruka could feel his chakra clenching slightly. He was…nervous? Iruka wanted to laugh. What on earth could he be nervous about right now? Tonight had been wonderful.

Suddenly, Iruka's stomach dropped.

Such an amazing night…surely there was a reason. Iruka suddenly felt like an idiot; of _course _there was a reason. And now Kakashi was nervous, because he was trying to tell him something Iruka probably didn't want to hear. Everything from long missions to nukenin invasions crossed Iruka's mind, but he found it hard to believe anything would be worse than what he was _really _hoping Kakashi wasn't about to say. He could practically hear the words now...

"Ruka…we need to talk."

Wow, that was really vivid…he could even see Kakashi's mouth move as he heard the words. Then, Kakashi's eyes were on him and Iruka froze. It wasn't vivid imagination; Kakashi had said it. He felt a pale hand slipping from his, and Iruka could feel his blood run cold. This was it. Two weeks, and Kakashi was bored already. He should have known it was coming, but…in retrospect, he guessed he'd been too happy to think about it.

But Jounin had always been notorious for having short attention spans. Iruka could feel the hurt and pain building in his chest, but he pushed it aside for annoyance. Stupid Jounin, stringing him along. Stupid him, not seeing this coming. Doubly stupid him, for not seeing through this whole night. Nobody was that romantic without a reason. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Before either of them could say anything more though, three shinobi burst into the clearing with a blur of movement.

In a flash Iruka was shoved back and Kakashi crouched protectively in front of him, kunai drawn and ready. Iruka shook his thoughts away and quickly drew three shuriken for each hand, rapidly repositioning himself so he and Kakashi were back to back. He would _not _be protected like some little girl; he could fight on his own, thank you.

"We're not here to fight." A familiar voice laughed, though there was a hard edge to the laughter.

"Yet." Another familiar voice added, a hint of a growl in their tone.

They holstered their weapons, Iruka with a groan and Kakashi with a roll of his eyes. Yes, eyes—he'd already yanked his mask back up of course, but he'd left his sharingan was uncovered in his haste.

"Did no one ever teach you three manners?" Kakashi tugged his hitai-ate down now with a sigh.

The Trio of Doom.

"Like you deserve _manners._" Anko glared, and Kakashi raised an eyebrow in obvious surprise.

"Anko!" Iruka exclaimed.

"No, Iruka-kun, it's true." Izumo shook his head.

"We're here to save you!" Kotetsu declared.

"Save him from what exactly?" Kakashi gave a slight snort as he made a show of glancing around the empty field.

"You, you self-serving jerk!" Anko's hands visibly itched to grab her kunai.

"Oh?" Kakashi quirked an eyebrow before grinning, "And what makes you think he wants to be saved?"

Kakashi moved to pull Iruka into to his arms, but the sensei squirmed out of his grasp. Iruka shot a guilty glance back at Kakashi who just blinked, surprised. The chunnin looked away, then at Anko.

"What do you mean?" Iruka wouldn't look at him, but Kakashi stared at Iruka.

"That stupid asshole is only dating you for a mission!" Anko snarled.

Kotetsu and Izumo immediately began shouting at Anko for breaking it so bluntly and harshly, but the damage was done. Iruka's breath caught; the emotions built in his stomach like a punch to the gut until it was up his throat and he could practically taste it on his tongue. He was _pissed. _Yeah, maybe Kakashi had been about to dump him. But that was a different emotion entirely; that was hurt. That was loss. It would be painful and it would suck and he would miss the man like he'd miss his own heart, but he would deal with it. Just being played, screwed around with like some cheap slut?

That was another thing _entirely._

**Kakashi's POV**

What in the hell was going on? The night had been going great, as perfectly as Kakashi could have imagined. They'd been lying under the stars, and Kakashi had been about to tell him, when those three _idiots _had ruined the moment.

Bursting in here, claiming stupid things like how Kakashi wasn't good enough for manners, how they were going to save Iruka? He would have dismissed it as drunk antics, but something they said must have gotten to Iruka, because suddenly he pulled away. Kakashi had felt the sensei flinch at his touch, and he respectfully retreated, but that didn't mean his mind wasn't whirring. What was going on? Why wouldn't Ruka look at him?

Then, Anko said something about dating Iruka on a mission—was that what this was about? Where had they gotten _that _bullshit? Ridiculous. He'd hadn't even intended to date the sensei; it had just…happened. Somewhere between when Iruka pushed him naked into the river and when the chunnin taunted him about personal space, his view on Iruka had changed. Didn't know when, didn't know how, all he knew was that when the sensei moved close he had kissed him, and that he was eternally grateful he had.

Missions were simple, easy. Nothing with Iruka was been simple or easy—though it was a million times more fun—and Kakashi loved it. No, dating Iruka wasn't a mission. Where had they gotten that?

"A mission?" Kakashi chuckled.

"Oh please." Anko rolled her eyes, "Don't try to lie your way out of this, Hatake."  
"Lie? Me?" Kakashi questioned innocently.

"Would you just stop?" Iruka glared at him.

Suddenly, it wasn't so funny anymore.

"You _believe _them? Ruka, I wouldn't-!"

"Just…don't." Iruka shook his head quickly.

The nickname seemed to soften him though, and he seemed indecisive suddenly. Kakashi quickly pushed forward, moving closer to Iruka so they were chest to chest. He gently, hesitantly so as not to jumpstart Iruka's anger again, tilted the chunnin's chin up so he finally had those beautiful eyes on him again.

"Ruka, I swear, nothing I feel for you has to do with any sort of mission." Kakashi promised resolutely.

Iruka's hazel orbs swept over his face, taking in Kakashi's never wavering silver eye, his set jaw, his unflinching voice. He was telling the truth. Before Iruka could speak, he was pulled away by Anko. Izumo and Kotetsu moved in front of him and the kunoichi, separating Kakashi.

" Nice try, jerk." Izumo growled.

"We have…" Kotetsu pulled something out of his pocket.

"Proof." The duo chimed, unfurling a scroll.

_Mission Umino Iruka _was written neatly at the top for both to see.

"Let's see…'Hatake will retrieve the information'…" Kotetsu read.

"...' Hatake Kakashi has been assigned to help with the investigation, and will be buddying up to Umino'…" Izumo continued.

"And if that's at all unclear…" Kotetsu shot a glare Kakashi's way.

"There is, of course, the part that says 'Mission Operatives: Hatake Kakashi, ANBU Crane, ANBU Dragon'." Izumo deadpanned.

"Nice try, Hatake, but you do _not_ screw with my Ruru-oto and get away with it." Anko gave Kakashi a withering glare.

Before anyone could respond, there was a rustling of breeze, and Kotetsu, Izumo, and Anko were on the ground. Two ANBU operatives, a tall bulky male and a smaller seemingly-delicate female, had entered the fray, instantly pinned the trio, the male ANBU with a Dragon mask taking Kotetsu and Izumo both while the female with a Crane mask took Anko, who was struggling violently.

"Konohagakure ANBU. Cease." The female, Crane, ordered, and Anko stopped; you didn't fight your own.

The male, Dragon, took the mission scroll from Kotetsu and Izumo's grasp.

"Why do you have this?" A deep voice growled, and the duo gulped, despite not being guilty of anything.

"We work for the Hokage." Kotetsu answered.

"We have the clearance." Izumo added.

"I can vouch that they do." Iruka added, looking lost in the sudden action.

"I'm sure they're permitted to read it; the question was why they have it in their possession."

"We asked Lady Tsunade, and she signed off on a mission scroll temporary removal." Kotetsu quickly supplied.

Crane and Dragon shared a glance.

"There isn't such a thing." Crane narrowed her eyes at Kotetsu. Izumo gave a shaky laugh.

"There is when she's plastered."  
Dragon gave a snort of what might have been mistaken for laughter, and Crane rolled her eyes at him.

"What? It's true enough." Dragon shrugged at his partner.

Crane nodded, and they both stood, releasing their captives.

"You're Crane and Dragon…you're tailing Iruka." Anko narrowed her eyes at the duo.

"Indirectly." Crane nodded, "Now you're all to follow us to the Hokage; thanks to your antics, this mission's cover has been blown completely open. Hatake, take lead."

"What?" Kakashi blinked at Crane's sudden command.

"You're the mission leader. Lead." Crane gestured.

The scroll had been _real? _What the hell was going on? He knew he hadn't been assigned any mission that involved dating Iruka. Last he remembered, his mission had been to prep Iruka for the Jounin Exams. That was it.

"Ruka, I-"

"Just lead, Hatake." Iruka spat, hurt and fury obvious.

All eyes were on him. Iruka was obviously not going to listen to him right now, not with all the evidence against him. Crane and Dragon seemed perfectly sure he was in on this as well, and the Trio of Doom would not be willing to put up with much of anything at the moment. Kakashi finally nodded and took off into the trees; he could let Tsunade sort them out. Because this was all wrong. Wrong wrong wrong.

This was not how he imagined telling Iruka he loved him would go.


	11. Chapter 11

A sudden, rapid knocking on the door to Tsunade's office went ignored.

The knocking increased in urgency, but the blonde didn't respond, too busy blissfully sleeping away her hangover. Finally, the door opened with a clatter, the abrupt noise startling the female Hokage awake. She sat up quickly, her arm knocking over her sake cup and a tall file of papers. She was quite an image, blinking blearily amidst a whirlwind of papers and spilled sake.

"What! What do you want, it's fucking…" Tsunade glanced at the clock, but the numbers were too blurry to make out, "It's fucking late! What do you want?"

"Uh…" Kakashi blanked, unsure of what exactly he wanted to ask first. Tsunade didn't seem to be in a forgiving mood, so Crane quickly ducked in and spoke first.

"My apologies, Hokage-sama, but this is not something that could wait." Crane bowed low, before signaling Dragon.

Dragon roughly shoved Anko, Kotetsu and Izumo forward. Apparently he was stronger than he knew (though it was doubtful, ANBU were quite precise), because the three nin ended up slamming into the Hokage's desk with the force of the shove. Grumbling and grouching but not willing to risk more rough-handling, they sat down.

"These three claim to have gotten a…temporary mission scroll removal form signed by you to remove the _Mission Umino Iruka _scroll from the archives. Is this true?" Crane asked, standing behind Anko's chair.

Dragon motioned for Iruka to join them, though the sensei just looked like he wanted to go home. There were only three chairs, so Iruka hung back by the door while Crane, Dragon, and Kakashi took positions behind Anko, Kotetsu, and Izumo. Dragon deposited the _Mission Umino Iruka _scroll on Tsunade's desk.

"A…a temporary…" Tsunade stumbled over the words, before shaking her head and massaging her temples, "A _what?_"

"They took that mission scroll and showed it to Iruka." Dragon gestured the open scroll on Tsunade's desk, phrased it in a way that was slightly easier for her to absorb.

"Who? Which one? What?" Tsunade still seemed less than coherent.

"You might want to use your hangover remedy, Hokage-sama." Iruka suggested quietly. Kakashi's eyes immediately sought him out, but Iruka still wouldn't look at him.

"My…right!" Tsunade's eyes gleamed, and she began hastily ripping through her drawers, "Shit, where'd I put that…"

"Fourth drawer down, under the sake compartment." Iruka gave the slightest of snorts at the irony.

"Right, right…" Tsunade nodded, digging into the drawer and removing the medicine.

She hastily downed two pills in one go, then closed her eyes, waiting for the medicine to take effect. Their Hokage finally seemed to pull herself from the murky depths of Hangover Land, and she sighed as the complexities of the situation sunk in, obviously wishing she had remained hung over. Or better yet, drunk.

"The one about you two tailing Kakashi to indirectly tail Iruka, right?" Tsunade gestured vaguely to Crane and Dragon.

"Hai." The duo nodded.

"Then what in the _hell _was going through your minds when you showed it to Iruka! That mission was assigned with a purpose!" Tsunade rounded on the Trio of Doom, before giving and aggravated sigh, "Look. I encourage any snooping around we can't catch; it means we have a talented batch of shinobi, and it gives you good practice. However! That does not give you the rights to go around _ruining _missions by divulging secrets left and right because you feel like stirring up trouble!"

"It wasn't to stir up trouble!" Kotetsu protested.  
"It was to protect Iruka-kun!" Izumo added with a rapid nod.

"Kakashi-bastard's the one that was causing trouble!" Anko argued.

"What?" Kakashi blinked, pulled from his intent staring at Iruka, "What did you call me?"

"Anko, it's not polite to-" Crane began to lecture, but she went completely ignored as Anko growled back a response.  
"Kakashi-bastard! You deserve it, screwing around with Iruka's head!"

"I did no such thing." Kakashi denied, his visible eye becoming dark at the accusation.

"Stop denying it, bastard!" Anko raged, jumping up from her seat and palming a kunai.

"Mitarashi Anko, you put that away!" Tsunade yelled, but it went ignored as the kunoichi advanced on Kakashi.

"I _told _you, I didn't." Kakashi ground out threateningly, moving forward to meet the challenge. These accusations were really beginning to piss him off.

"Hatake you brat, don't even-!" Tsunade started to order, but was cut off in the flurry of shouting.

"And I told _you _we have proof!" Kotetsu was on his feet now too, and Izumo was quick to follow.

"We saw the scroll, stop insulting our intelligence!" Izumo scowled, pushing aside his chair.

"All of you need to shut up-!" Dragon tried to control them as well, but his added shouting was no more effective than Crane's tirade about behavior and shinobi honor and controlling themselves, or Tsunade's continued threats to their person and to 'sit their asses down!'.

"You thought you could get away with that?!"

"Nobody messes with our Iruka-kun!"

"You don't have a chance in hell, Kakashi-bastard!"

"You're gonna wish you were never born!"

Kotetsu and Izumo advanced, shoving any interference—from the chairs or from Crane and Dragon—roughly out of the way to join Anko in the fray. Kakashi was just as willing to fight, and he moved to release his shuriken. Those idiots had ruined what was _supposed _to be a perfect night—if they thought he would go easy on their sorry hides they were wrong!

"I'm not insulting you, I'm saying _I never heard about it!_" Kakashi growled, rounding on Izumo. Anko grabbed his shoulder and turned him back.

"Don't ignore me you ass! You think we're idiots?! You think I'll just let you screw with my little brother and get away with it?! Don't try me, Hatake!" Anko had spun him so that she was snarling her insults face to face, but that only pissed him off more.

"Watch it, Mitarashi." Kakashi's voice lowered, and he shoved her back roughly.

"Both of you, sit down and-!" Tsunade yelled, but it was pointless.

Anko hit the chair, but bounced off and was already moving forward again to tackle Kakashi. He dodged, but was grabbed by Kotetsu and Izumo. He easily maneuvered out of their grip, and they almost grabbed him again before Crane and Dragon restrained them. All of their voices were overlapping now; Anko spitting profanities while trying to pin Kakashi, Kotetsu and Izumo slinging tag-team insults while Crane and Dragon held them off.

"_All of you shut up!" _There was a loud roar, and everyone froze.

In another time and place, the scene would be almost comical: Iruka, hands on his hips, shooting a wicked nasty glare to everyone in the room. Kakashi, pinned under Anko with what looked to be a bloody nose (hard to tell under the mask); Anko, poised straddling the Copy Nin, one hand gripping his vest, the other pulled back to have another go. Kotetsu, frozen mid-struggle in Dragon's clamped grip; Dragon, engulfing Kotetsu's seemingly-tiny body in a huge, incapacitating bear-hug. Izumo, pinned to the wall by Crane, legs dangling in the air; Crane, both hands on Izumo's neck, holding the shinobi aloft in the air. Tsunade, eyes wide and a red welt on her forehead from banging it on her desk repeatedly when they all ignored her and chaos reigned.

All eyes were on Iruka.

"Do you know where I _should _be right now?" Iruka hissed icily.

No one was suicidal enough to move, much less answer.

"I should be home. Asleep. It is now past 1am in the morning. I am hurt, confused, tired, and above all, _pissed off. _I want you all to calm the fuck down, take your god damned seats, or stand, or what the hell ever, and tell me what in the seven hells is going on. Or, you can let me go home and then continue to kill each other. I really don't care which. But you are going to do one of these, and you are going to do it _now._"

There was a rush of motion as they all hastily moved back to their original spots, all eyes still warily watching him. The sensei remained by the door, his hands folding themselves across his chest as he delivered his version of events.

"At around midnight, Kakashi and I were in a clearing not far from the village. Kotetsu, Izumo, and Anko entered the clearing, shouting insults and claiming I needed to be saved. Kakashi denied this, and they showed me that scroll. I didn't get a chance to examine it, but the gist of it is that Kakashi was to date me to get close to me to determine my eligibility for the Jounin Exams, while-"

Kakashi opened his mouth to contradict this—he was arguably the only person in the room who had the guts (or stupidity) to do so—but was silenced by a withering glare from Iruka.

"While Crane and Dragon followed him, because I would have sensed if they followed me directly. Thus, any secrets I imparted to Kakashi would be observed by them as well. However, even when I was shown the scroll, Kakashi has continuously denied any knowledge of it. This issue was brought to you for three reasons: one, I would personally like confirmation that Hatake has something to do with this, if only because his denial is pissing me off. Two, because the mission's cover has been blown; I not only know I'm being followed, I know who's doing it, how, and why. Three, because Anko, Kotetsu, and Izumo's knowledge of the mission as well jeopardizes any chance it might have had."

Iruka finally nodded, signaling that he was done, and that Tsunade could make of it what she would. Tsunade's eyes were closed deep in thought as she absorbed the information. Everyone else sat in silence, waiting for the verdict.

Anko ran a thumb over the blood on her fist from Kakashi's nose with smug satisfaction, and used the feeling to control the urge to jump up and lay into the bastard again. Kotetsu attempted to read Iruka-kun's face, hoping that the sensei was okay and not just trying to hide his hurt behind anger again. Izumo focused on breathing deeply and getting back the air that Crane had deprived his lungs of. Crane kept a wary eye on the trio, while mentally noting to herself that the sensei might be worth further examination. Dragon was busy trying not to burst into laughter; the usually quiet chunnin's disturbingly loud way of taking charge had been the funniest thing he'd seen in a long time.

Kakashi? He was trying not to think about how sexy a furious Iruka was, and frantically attempting to will away the arousal Iruka's dominating attitude had left him with. He was failing, and if the Trio of Doom found out, they would kill him.

Brutally.

"I regret to inform you, but Kakashi was assigned such a mission. However, it's goal was not to seduce; only to get close to you. The methods he used to do so were not suggested and were his own. I'm sorry, Iruka." Tsunade addressed the sensei at last.

Iruka made no movement; he stood frozen in the doorway, slightly widened eyes the only indication he had heard her. All eyes were on him again, but if he was aware of the attention, he didn't show it. Kakashi's entire being was aching to speak, move, to do anything. But he couldn't; he too was frozen, not by the news but by the pure pain and betrayal in his Ruka's eyes.

"I see. Thank you." Iruka bowed stiffly, his voice cracking slightly on the last words, before he swiftly left the room.

Iruka's departure shocked Kakashi back to reality, and the Jounin instantly sprinted out the door after him. He burst through the door and sprinted down the hall, but the chunnin was nowhere in sight. He thanked the gods he knew where Iruka lived, and he immediately raced off down the stairs and out the twin doors and into the streets. He didn't get far before Dragon appeared before him.

"The Hokage requires your presence. Matters are not quite settled yet." Dragon stopped him, pressing a hand on Kakashi's shoulder in what might have been sympathy.

Kakashi had no time for that.

"I don't care." Kakashi shook his head, batting Dragon's hand away, "I'll be back soon enough."  
"She specifically said now."

"Tell her I'm retrieving Iruka."

"She said if you said that to tell you he's no longer required and that 'he's had enough of your games for one day'." Dragon parroted.

Kakashi blinked. He glanced down the empty street, towards Iruka's apartment. He glanced back at Dragon. Iruka needed him; he knew that much. He had seen his Ruka's eyes well up, heard the crack in his voice. He knew he had hurt Ruka, and he wouldn't let that stand. Couldn't. He also needed to sort this out with the Hokage, who also seemed to believe he was playing games with Ruka, that he had taken her orders to get close to him as an excuse to mess with the sensei and get close to him while having some fun. That wasn't what was going on, not at all, and he didn't want her, or the Trio of Doom, thinking so.

But _Ruka needed him._

That decided it, of course; but right as he made his choice and moved to shove Dragon out of the way, it was no longer his choice. Dragon grabbed his arm, yanked him forward, and teleported them back to the Hokage's office, Kakashi swearing all the way.

~.~.~.~.~

"_Fuck!"_ Iruka swore, shoving open his door.

It slammed against the wall hard enough to make it shudder, and a light clicked on downstairs, then clicked off. Late-night antics went generally ignored in a shinobi village, which was good news for Iruka tonight.

"_Kami fucking damn it!_" Iruka hissed, slamming the door closed behind him, and another shiver racked his small apartment.

He violently ripped his shoes off his feet, throwing them forcefully at the wall. He thought he heard the plaster crack, but he didn't care. If anything, it was gratifying. He slammed open the door to his bedroom, and tore off his chunnin vest with the same vigor. He angrily mashed it up and crumpled it to his satisfaction, then hurled it at the laundry basket. He missed, so he aimed a vicious kick at the thing. It was the stupid basket's fault for being so damn elusive. And mysterious. And handsome. And charming. And romantic. With each new thought, Iruka shot another kick in the basket's direction.

"…fuck you." Iruka finally snarled at the unhelpful laundry basket that now lay mangled on the floor, begging for mercy.

He thought he saw a strand of silver fabric poking out of the top, so he kicked it again, this time as hard as he could manage. The basket flew, rebounding off the wall with a _crack_, before skidding across the carpet into the corner. He didn't see the silver anymore.

Iruka headed into his bathroom, tugging his hair band out more viciously than was probably necessary, not flinching when it hurt. Instead of combing through his hair, he just gave an aggravated sigh and dropped his head, resting his hands on the counter. When he finally summoned the energy to look up, he disregarded brushing his teeth and everything else, instead just looking into the mirror.

He looked the same as always; brown eyes, brown hair, tan skin. Large scar across the nose. Dark blush lighting his cheeks, from anger and hurt and confusion and so many other tangled up emotions. What about this man in the mirror had said to Kakashi, _please, fuck with my emotions for the fun of it_? What had Kakashi seen in that man in the mirror that made the Jounin disregard all respect for that man as a shinobi, as a _human being, _and gave Kakashi the right to completely screw that man's life over? What had Kakashi thought about the man in the mirror?

The man in the mirror was terribly plain. Had Kakashi liked any part of that man at all? Or had he just looked past the imperfection, past the dullness, for the cheap satisfaction of his games? When the man in the mirror talked, had Kakashi ever really listened? It certainly felt like he had, but now everything was blurry, questionable. The image in the mirror changed, became fuzzy. The world was swimming, but from what little he could still see of the man in the mirror, it looked like the man was crying. Iruka snorted, though it came out as more of a sniffle.

What a wuss the man in the mirror was turning out to be.

Suddenly, Iruka couldn't stand the sight of the man's face anymore. A boring face, with plain brown hair and dull brown eyes that welled with tears. Even the scar that crossed his face seemed wrong now; it no longer seemed to be a straight line, but was crooked. How ironic; even the man's imperfections were imperfect. The man in the mirror was boring, plain, dull.

Kakashi had thought so too.

Anger flared, and Iruka lashed out at the mirror, punching it fiercely. It shattered, instantly falling to pieces—just like his heart, Iruka thought bitterly. They both seemed so broken, mangled beyond repair. Useless. He was just…useless. What had been so great about that bastard that two weeks of cheap theatrics and false hope left him so utterly useless?

_Only everything._

Iruka's knuckles were bleeding profusely, smaller shards of mirror were lodged in various parts of his arm, and glass covered the floor, but Iruka couldn't bring himself to care. A wave of exhaustion hit him, and he collapsed on the floor. His head sank into his hands, and wrenching pain racked his chest as cried.

~.~.~.~.~

"What is so important that you have to drag me back here while Iruka gets to think I let him go without chasing after him?" Kakashi growled the instant he reappeared in Tsunade's office.

"Drop the act. Now. That is an _order, _brat." Tsunade ground out.

Kakashi paused. Not the reaction he had been expecting.

"Do _not _give me that look. Do you _know_ the man you spent the past two weeks screwing around with? Do you? At _all?_" Tsunade demanded, furious now, "Do you know how hard he works, ensuring the children, the future of our village, know how to properly defend themselves and become the best they can be? Do you know how many hours he spends filing the papers you and a multitude of others deem too _beneath _you, so our village can function properly? Do you know how much _shit _he takes from you and the others because he does the jobs you're too high and mighty to do, and because he does it with pride?"

"I-"

"That man is one of the sole reasons our village hasn't been burnt to the ground, either by pre-genin brats on a sugar high with a lesser teacher, or by you idiot Jounin running around thinking you rule the world cause you can throw pointy objects at each other and not miss!"

"I-"

"So I want you to drop that god damned act that you _care. _Because Umino Iruka is a good man, and I hold him in high regard. I refuse to watch you belittle him, and if I had known that _seduction," _Tsunade sneered, almost disgusted by the word, "Was your method of choice, I would have stepped in weeks ago. Hear me, and hear me now Hatake: do not. Mess with him."

"I'm _not!_ All I want to do is find Iruka and-"

"Leave the damage as it is. It will only do more to go in and try to explain away your lies." Dragon advised, though there seemed to be an hard edge to the advice.

Kakashi ran a hand through his hair in obvious irritation. Crane watched silently, trying to decipher Kakashi's expression without being able to see under his mask. Anko, Kotetsu, and Izumo watched impatiently, but silently as per Tsunade's orders. Tsunade and Dragon, mistakenly thinking their words were making him rethink things, wore somewhat smug smiles, though Tsunade's was mostly relieved.

"Why does everyone always think I'm the bad guy? I never lied to him." Kakashi finally sighed, unsure of what to say to convince the impassioned Tsunade, the quietly forceful Dragon, and of course Iruka's faithful minions, of his innocence.

"Only fucked him when it was not required, though you had no feelings for him. You lied with your actions, Hatake." Dragon corrected him with a shake of his head.

Kami, was everyone in the village soinfatuated with his Ruka to the point they couldn't think straight? Not that he could blame them…the sensei blocked his logic sometimes too. But still; for Kami's sake, could no one connect the dots?

"It wasn't required. I did it anyway. Why does everyone assume that it was for laughs? Why does no one think that I might just possibly have done it because I liked the guy? Or maybe because he was insanely hot? Or because he's the only person in this village—this _world—_that would push a respected superior into a river then run off with his pants?"

"What?"

"Never mind." Kakashi waved them off, "The point is, I _do _have feelings for him—and that's why I dated him, why I had sex with him, why I love him. Not because of some…stupid…mission…"

Silence filled the room as all eyes were instantly on him.

It probably had not been the smartest idea to admit his love for Iruka to a room of people who were likely to either A: tell Iruka before Kakashi could, or B: think he was lying. And of course, they likely to do option C either way:

Snap his neck for saying so.


	12. Chapter 12

There were so many things Kakashi could have done.

The best modes of attack, defense and retreat instantly filtered his mind. After a brief, probably biased analysis of his options—stay and probably get the crap beaten out of him by the Trio of Doom while Tsunade laughed, or run like hell and hope they were too shocked to follow—he chose the smart option.

Plus, this one involved Iruka.

"Hatake Kakashi, don't you even _think _about going out that window-!" Tsunade tried to order, but it was pointless; he was long gone.

Anko's howl of "_Hatake!_", however, was heard throughout the village. And possibly Suna.

Kakashi raced through the streets, laughing underneath his mask at Anko's obvious fury. He'd have to deal with that at some point…but right now he just needed to explain things to Iruka. _Without _their interference. He knew if he could get the sensei on his side, the others would fall in line. If only because his Ruka could be pretty scary at times.

He was at Iruka's doorstep within moments, and after a moments debate, decided to actually use the door for once. Iruka was pissed enough; he didn't need half the furniture and anything Ruka could get his hands on thrown at his head because he used the window too. Sliding in as silently as possible, Kakashi almost did a double-take at the sight of Iruka's usually meticulous apartment.

There were indents in the wall, and Iruka's shoes were haphazard on the floor. He'd thrown them at the wall? The wall behind the door was cracking, right along the line of where the door would hit if slammed back. Kakashi's observational skills kicked in then to take note of little things—a picture frame lay abandoned on the floor, and some of the refrigerator magnets had fallen off; had the apartment been shaking? Shit, Iruka must _really _be pissed.

But before Kakashi could continue that train of thought, he heard strange sounds coming from Iruka's bathroom. There was no yelling, no ranting…an odd sound, like heavy, somewhat choked up breathing. Was Iruka being hurt? Was someone else here? He didn't feel anyone else's chakra, but he palmed a kunai and carefully made his way towards the bathroom.

He opened the door cautiously, and dropped his kunai in shock.

Iruka sat alone in a pile of shattered glass and some blood splatter—certainly more than Kakashi was comfortable seeing around Iruka. He had his head in hands and his right knuckles were scraped up and bleeding.

Kakashi sank to his knees and moved to Iruka's side, pulling the sensei into his arms. He felt Iruka's hands seek out his jacket and grip it tightly, tucking his head under Kakashi's arm. The shaking slowed but didn't stop, and a sick feeling began to bloom in Kakashi's stomach as he watched the tears drip down Iruka's tan cheeks.

"Shh…shh. It's okay…I'm right here."

That was apparently the very wrong thing to say.

Instantly, Iruka violently shoved him away, catching Kakashi completely off-guard. Iruka was on his feet in an instant. The tears were still there, but Kakashi had flipped a switch and Iruka was back to fury.

"Oh, what, you're here now? Don't insult me!" Iruka snapped, storming out of the bathroom leaving a confused and somewhat pained—his head had hit the door and that _hurt _damn it—Kakashi in his wake.

"Ruka, no, I never…none of that stuff, I mean…I didn't…!" Kakashi struggled to find the words to explain while he tried to get to his feet and follow Iruka out the bathroom door.

"Do _not _call me that!" Iruka shouted. He stopped rubbing at his eyes long enough to give Kakashi a positively poisonous glare.

"No, you know what? I will." Kakashi shot back, a sly grin creeping onto his features, "I'll call you whatever I want. You know why?"

Iruka had stopped crying, and now he could deal with this. Crying Iruka just…pained him. It hurt, to see Ruka crying, especially because of him. But this? Angry Iruka? This he could handle just fine. And he knew just how he was going handle this.

"No, I don't, I don't want to hear another fucking word." Iruka swore, then, as a grumbled afterthought, "And wipe that stupid grin off your face, it's creepy."

"I think you want to know why~" Kakashi sang as he moved closer to Iruka, grinning all the wider. Now Iruka looked most definitely weirded out.

"…not if you sing it like that, I don't. What the hell has gotten into you? Your mind games are over, bastard. You don't need to come around and apologize, if that's what this is. Just get out." Iruka growled.

Well, this hadn't been how Kakashi had planned to say it…but as the saying goes…plans of shinobi and men often go awry.

"I don't think I will. Because…well, I love you." Kakashi moved closer, and with Iruka's back to the wall now, they were less than an inch apart. He repeated it, almost as if reveling that he actually could say it, finally, "I love you."

Iruka's deer in headlights look was absolutely classic. Kakashi leaned in and closed it with a soft, simple kiss, as if to prove his point. For a brief, flickering moment, Iruka responded in turn, leaning in and returning the light pressure. Therefore, the absolute last thing Kakashi expected at that particular moment in time was a knee to the groin.

That was, however, what he received.

"Holy…_shiiiit._" Kakashi hissed, bending slightly. Shinobi training was a wonderful thing for handling pain, but there were limits.

"That's low, even for you." Iruka shot him a deadly glare.

"Ruka, I meant it, damn it!" Kakashi groaned, placing a hand against the wall to maintain his balance.

"…I said don't call me that!"

Kakashi gave a small smile under his mask. He felt the hesitation before Iruka…"decisively" ended the kiss. He heard the pause before Iruka rejected the nickname. Kakashi _knew _Iruka felt the same way…he just needed to regain Ruka's trust, meanwhile Ruka would be determined not to trust him again. Ruka was stubborn…but Kakashi wouldn't have it any other way.

"Guess what? I'm going to call you whatever I want." Kakashi smirked now, "And I'm going to tell you I love you too, often, until you get it through your stubborn skull that I might actually mean it."

There was a small moment of silence, where Iruka tried to gauge just how serious Kakashi was. Finally, he sighed, long and low.

"I don't believe you, Hatake, and I'm not going to. As far as I'm concerned, you are a fellow shinobi. You did what you needed to for a mission—I won't hold it against you, but the games end here. Now get out of my apartment." Iruka held open the door.

"I didn't need to do it for a mission, Ruka. I did it for love." Kakashi winked, not budging at all.

"Kami, cheesy as ever." Iruka groaned, "Now get out, or I'll tell Anko where you are. Yeah, I heard that screech. She wants your ass, and if you stay here much longer, I will be more than willing to deliver."

"You're willing to deliver to my ass? I usually prefer topping, but if you _really _want to..."

"First of all, I hope you realize you are a hopelessly perverted degenerate. Second, I am not kidding. You have three seconds to get the hell out before I call for Anko."

"Maa…I wasn't kidding either. The things we do for love, ne?"  
"3…"  
"You wouldn't rat me out..."

"2…"

"You're not _that _cruel…"

"1…"

"Love you!"

Iruka slammed the door as the Copy Nin disappeared into the night, smoke and leaves the only evidence he'd ever been there at all. That, and the lingering doubt, confusion, and frustration that lingered in Iruka's mind. It was going to be a long night.

~.~.~.~.~

The Trio of Doom found him anyway.

Damn it, he should have stayed with Iruka. Anko wouldn't have wanted to get blood on her "little brother's" carpet, right? As it was, he'd only gotten halfway home before he'd been ambushed and tackled by the trio. He was now unsuccessfully trying to wrestle them off; yes, he was Sharingan no Kakashi, but it was three against one and he wasn't going to use his full power on fellow shinobi and risk injuring them.

…well…yet. The night was young.

"Honestly, Kashi-chan, would you stop struggling?"  
Kakashi froze.

"What the _hell _did you just call me?"

"Well, you're my little brother's girlfriend, you get a nickname too." Anko took advantage of his frozen state to pinch his cheeks and beam at him widely.

Kakashi shoved her off and slapped her hands away, rubbing his now sore cheeks, "I am _not _his girlfriend. _Boyfriend_, Anko. Boyfriend."

He didn't add that he probably wasn't that either at the moment.

"Sure you are, Kashi-chan." Anko smiled oh-so-sweetly.  
"…I can just _feel_ my reputation curl up and die every time those words escape your mouth." Kakashi shook his head, then turned to Kotetsu and Izumo, "What about you guys? You're awful with nicknames. I don't think it gets worse than Kashi-chan, but I'm sure you'll try."

"Well, no nicknames from us-"

"Other than Karuka."

"Obviously. But other than that-"

"No nicknames til you earn it."

"Plus, I'm betting Iruka-kun still doesn't trust you."

"And Iruka-kun takes burnt once, twice shy-"

"To an entirely new level of vengeance."

"I'm surprised you're not bloody."

"Or have broken bones."

"Or a concussion."

"Pretty lucky if you ask me."

"Agreed."

"But that's okay-"

"We'll help you win his trust back!" They both chimed at the same time.

"…maa, I know this is incredibly hard to believe…" Kakashi deadpanned with a roll of his eyes, "But I don't want your help."

"Yeah, well you're sure as hell gonna need it." Anko snorted.

"What happened to you wanting to kill me?" Kakashi raised an unimpressed eyebrow.

"These two reminded me of how good you are for Ruru-oto. As long as you really meant it, you're okay in my book." Anko slapped him on the back, then gripped his shoulder tightly while giving him a sunshine-bright smile, "You _did _mean it, of course…?"

"Yes, yes." Kakashi hastily nodded, and the grip on his shoulder relaxed.

"Good! Then we'll get along just fine." Anko beamed.

Kakashi just sweat-dropped; what had he gotten himself into?


	13. Chapter 13

Sunlight filtered through Iruka's open window, and Iruka blinked blearily at the beautiful sunrise before sighing and closing his eyes again. So tired…

Wait.

His window was never open. No shinobi in their right mind left a window open. Ever. Iruka was instantly on his feet, removing the emergency weapon from under his mattress in one smooth motion and rolling out of bed into a crouch on the floor. He was immediately alert and took in his surroundings.

"Nice moves, sensei." A voice chirped cheerfully.

Iruka didn't know whether to be relieved or annoyed.

"Nice ass, too."

Make that annoyed.

"Get out, Kakashi. Now." Iruka ordered at the still-leering Jounin.

Kakashi was on Iruka's bed, lying on his side, propping up his unmasked face with one hand while he continued to leer at Iruka's ass. As the order to leave, he looked up with the picture perfect puppy dog eyes.  
"But Ruka, I'm making pancakes!"

"You look like you're in my bed!"

"If that's where you want me, I'm more than happy to oblige."

"It was just an observation that you were in the bed, not the kitchen, pervert!"  
"Sure it wasn't an invitation?"  
"Fuck you!"  
"Sounds about right, yes."  
"I hate you!"  
"Love you too." Kakashi chirped happily.

"J-jus-just get out!" Iruka spluttered, obviously thrown for a loop.

"Can't love, sorry. We have training." Kakashi shrugged.

"N-no! I'm not training with you! And don't call me lo…_that_!" Iruka spat, still flustered.

"You're cute when you blush." Kakashi smiled brightly.

"Shut up!"

"You don't know how adorable you are? Honestly love, look in a mirror."

Even before Iruka reacted, Kakashi knew it had been the wrong thing to say. Already he felt the sick spiral in his gut as a vision of last night flashed in his mind. Bloody knuckles, a shattered mirror, a crying Iruka…it didn't take a genius to figure out that Iruka hadn't liked what he'd seen last time he looked in a mirror.

Even before the color drained from Iruka's face, even before Kakashi remembered last night…the hurt look in Iruka's eyes said it all. Finally, the chunnin stormed across the room, grabbed Kakashi, and promptly shoved him out the open window.

Kakashi let him, because he hoped that maybe the fall would knock some sense into his stupid, stupid skull.

~.~.~.~.~

"I can't help it! I always say the wrong things." Kakashi groaned, his head sinking into his hands.

"Shake it off, man. Iruka'll forgive you in time…you just need to mean it." Asuma gave Kakashi a pat on the shoulder.

"I _do _mean it!" Kakashi sighed, "You think I'd say something like that if I didn't mean it?"  
"…" Asuma sized Kakashi up; they were sitting with Kurenai and Gai at a table in their favorite bar, the Rusty Kunai. It was Asuma who had seen Kakashi at the training grounds, beating the shit out of a doll with silver hair and a lopsided hitai-ate, and figured the Jounin might need someone to talk to. "I know you mean it. Why doesn't Iruka think you mean it? You two dated for what? A week? That's not very long, but that's not awful short."

The shinobi around the table exchanged shrugs. It wasn't the longest relationship ever, but in a shinobi's world, things happened fast or they sometimes didn't happen at all. You lost people far too soon to waste time dragging things out when you already knew how you felt. Wait too long for the right moment and it might never happen.

"Eight days." Kakashi nodded, a miserable groan escaping him once again, "And I _know _he knows I mean it. I can see it. I know he knows, but he's convinced himself he can't trust me, that it'll hurt less if he pushes me away."

"My Dearest Rival, I am Deeply Ecstatic that the Lovely Blossom of Youthful Love has bloomed within your Kind and Earnest Soul at Long Last! However, are you Entirely Positive that the Fair and Youthful Iruka-sensei is your True Soul Mate if he is willing to push your Wonderful and Doting Love aside like so?" Gai tried to phrase it delicately, though with Gai, phrasing things delicately was about as useful as putting the pin back in the grenade.

"Don't." Kakashi shot a pointed glare Gai's way, "Don't think that, not for a damn second."

"I am Merely Suggesting that-"

"What? That he's not worth it? He is worth anything it takes, Gai. Anything it takes." Kakashi took a long drink, letting his words sink in on the group, then put the cup down and left without another word.

"…stubborn fool." Asuma grumbled.

"He always wanted what he couldn't have." Kurenai sighed.

"Hn. Well, what happens when he gets Iruka back then, hm? The sensei's a decent enough guy, plus my genin love him; I wouldn't want him to get hurt when Kakashi gets bored." Asuma pointed out. Team 9 would be crushed if Iruka became unhappy.  
"My Dear Rival will not be getting Bored or Uninterested in the Fair and Kind-Hearted Iruka-sensei any time soon, Good Friends, just you Wait And See." Gai winked.

Asuma and Kurenai shivered.

Gai winking was not something to be witnessed, ever, ever again. They both took a long drink before the meaning of his words sunk in.

"What do you mean? What do you know, Gai?" Kurenai questioned. Gai paused a long moment, thinking his words over for once.

"My rival has been happier in the past eight days than I have ever seen him. I believe Iruka-sensei is a good match for him, and that the sensei won't be able to resist Kakashi's rare, pure love for as long as he thinks he can." Gai finished with a smile, and Asuma and Kurenai stared.

"…is it just me, or were there no caps in that sentence?" Kurenai said at last.

Asuma turned to the passing waiter.

"I'll be needing something stronger, please. Much, much stronger."

**Day 2**

"So if you see here, the chakra flows _through _your feet and out, onto the water. This creates a sort of barrier between your feet and the water, and it keeps you afloat." Iruka pointed at the foot of the hastily drawn ninja on the chalkboard. He then took his chalk and drew arrows leading out, into a shield between the water and foot.

"Sensei, sensei!" A young girl waved her hand wildly.

"Sound effects are not required, Kaori." Iruka reminded her.

"Oops." Kaori blushed.

"What's your question?"

"It's not a question."

"What do you want?"

"I don't want anything."

"I'm tired, Kaori-chan, don't test my patience."

"I want to tell you something!"

"Then tell me!"  
"There's a silver cyclops outside my window. Am I delutherinal?"

"…" Iruka closed his eyes very, very tightly, and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Any noise in the classroom instantly and abruptly ceased, and Kaori whimpered. She wanted to swear she wasn't lying, to promisepromisepromise, just please don't be mad sensei, but she knew better than to talk when Iruka-sensei had The Look on his face. The, You're-Testing-My-Patience look. Also know as the If-You-Say-One-More-Thing-You'll-Be-A-Kunai-Dummy look.

"No, Kaori, you're not 'delutherinal', though I believe the term you're looking for is 'delusional'. You're all to sit quietly in your seats while I step outside for one moment. If I come back and there's a hair out of place, we'll be having kunai practice with the giant snakes in Sector 23."

The children looked confused—that was almost a reward, a field trip even. It was dangerous, but cool if you had someone like Iruka-sensei to protect you…

"Oh, let me clarify…kunai practice for them. On you."

The class went pale, and hastily nodded.

Iruka stepped outside, and promptly yanked a silver-haired bastard right out of the tree he was sitting in.

"What in the fucking hell do you think you're doing?!" Iruka whisper-hissed.

"Maa…watch the language, sensei, your students are right here." Kakashi drawled.

"That's why I'm whispering!" Iruka snapped.

"Poorly. How on earth do you handle spying missions?" Kakashi chuckled.  
"Shut up! This is the second day in a row you've followed me around! Stop bugging me, what do you want?"  
"I just wanted to watch you teach, love. Is that a crime?" Kakashi put on his best pretty-please? face.  
"Y-yes! It's called stalking! Now leave me alone, I have work to do!" Iruka growled, but his face flushed once again at 'the word'.

"Oh, but you don't mind if I watch, do you?"  
"Of course I mind!"  
"I've seen you do so much worse though, why do you care about me seeing you teach?" Kakashi shrugged nonchalantly, and it took a minute to figure out the innuendo.  
"Seen me do…you perverted bastard!" Iruka whisper-yelled.

"Oh come on, that was funny." Kakashi grinned.  
"Only to you!" Iruka blushed heavily.  
"I've seen you play sensei before…" Kakashi leered.

"This is _not _the same kind of sensei!" Iruka rolled his eyes, though his blush deepened.

"Aw, no rulers?" Kakashi frowned.  
"You're horrible!" Iruka snapped.

"Maa, you were a consenting partner, sensei." Kakashi pointed out with a smirk, "A _very _consenting partner…"  
"Kami, don't say it like that." Iruka groaned.

"What?"  
"Sensei!"  
"But you are…sensei." Kakashi drawled lazily, the word taking on a whole new meaning.

"You're such a pervert!" Iruka accused with a growl, "At least you put away those horrid books."  
"Of course. Why read Icha Icha when I have my own personal sex god right here?" Kakashi grinned.

"You're-"

Suddenly, there was a very loud retching sound.

Iruka froze.

He hadn't bothered to check for chakra signatures; he'd seen Kakashi, and Kaori's description of a "silver cyclops" had been pretty freaking obvious. Now, what was even more obvious, was the presence of the absolute _last _three people in the world he wanted to have overheard that conversation.

Team 7.

The genjutsu was dispelled as Naruto hurled the contents of his stomach onto the grass. The teen looked extremely green, Sakura looked quite pale as she shivered and twitched, and Sasuke looked like he wanted to gouge his eyes and ears out, though he couldn't decide which would go first.

"Oh, did I mention the brats followed me? I think I'm supposed to be training them."

"Oh…oh…oh God." Iruka turned pale as their conversation played back over in his head.

"That'll teach them not to spy on people." Kakashi chirped.

"If only you could learn the same lesson." Iruka glared.

"I'm only trying to be near the one I love, sensei. Would you deny me the privilege?" Kakashi only managed to look like he was saying the corny line with a straight face because of the mask; Iruka just knew that under that mask Kakashi was snickering.

"Y-yes, yes I would! Now go away! And stop saying that!" Iruka almost pleaded.  
"Saying what?" Kakashi asked innocently.  
"That you l-lo-that you feel that way about me!" Iruka stuttered over the word.

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WE'RE STILL HERE!" Naruto howled, before promptly vomiting again as the image of his teachers doing the nasty invaded his mind.

"Please, please…just stop talking!" Sakura begged.

"Mercy…" Sasuke groaned.

"See? Even your students want you to stop!" Iruka pointed at the suffering children, "And why on Earth did you bring them in the first place?!"  
"I didn't 'bring' them; they followed me when I was late to training." Kakashi shrugged.  
"Yes, but you knew they were following you, didn't you?"

"Of course. They're about as stealthy as a herd of elephants. Plus, the ongoing babble was a hint: 'I'll be better at so-and-so than you, Sasuke, believe it!' 'Hn' 'Don't talk to Sasuke like that Naruto!' 'Sasuke, make Sakura shut up!' 'Hn' 'Sasuke, don't let Naruto talk to me like that!' 'Hn'." Kakashi mimicked the trio, "God, it was endless. The things I put up with for love, ne?"

"Yeah, you're a freaking martyr." Iruka rolled his eyes, then covered his mouth with a blush at his almost-curse in front of the trio, "Oops."

Kakashi laughed, loud and long.

"We just talked for ten minutes about our sexual adventures in front of them and you're worried about saying 'freaking'?" Kakashi laughed, "God I love you, Iruka."

"Shut up!" Iruka blushed fiercely.

"Funny, I'm pretty sure I'm not going to until you say it back." Kakashi stuck out his tongue under the mask.

"Funny, I feel like ditching you to deal with _that._" Iruka pointed at the trio, his threat deathly serious, "So I think I'm going to go back and teach my class. And if I see you, or any of your students, peering through that window, I will personally castrate you. And then it won't matter _how _much you supposedly like me, there will be no sex again. Ever."  
"I don't like you, sensei, I love you." Kakashi winked.

Then, he disappeared in a poof of smoke, students in tow, because no matter how much he loved the sensei, he knew when to make a hasty retreat. Especially when it involved his more sensitive areas, as Ruka had already proven he had no sympathy for that particular brand of pain.

**Day 3**

Tap.

"Do you have a mission report, Hatake-san?" Raidou raised an eyebrow.  
"Nope." Kakashi hummed, not even looking his way.

Tap. Tap.

"Do you want one?" Raidou tried.  
"Nope." Kakashi still didn't take his eyes off the other mission room worker.

Tap. Tap. Tap.  
"Do you have any reason to be here at all?" Raidou pressed.

"My love for Iruka-sensei!" Kakashi chirped.

The Jounin ducked mechanically as the fourth and final stapler from Iruka's desk flew by his head and impaled itself into the wall.

"T-that's not a reason, Hatake! Get the hell out of here before I pick your scrawny ass up and do it myself!"

"He's going to hurt you one of these days." Raidou winced.

"Maa…he's thought up worse threats. Besides, most can be taken as innuendos and neutralized to your basic grab-and-throw." Kakashi shrugged to Raidou before calling back to Iruka, "I thought you said we weren't going to have sex in the mission room? Sounds to me like, 'doing my scrawny ass' yourself here would go against that wouldn't it? Not that I'm objecting, of cou-"

Before Raidou had time to ask was a 'basic grab-and-throw' was, Iruka demonstrated. The chunnin slammed his hands down on his desk, stalked over to where Kakashi was—on the windowsill by Raidou—grabbed the Jounin's vest, and physically threw him out the door before he could finish his sentence.

"Ah. Grab-and-throw."

**Day 4**

"I am _sick _of you following me like a lovesick puppy! The mission room, the Academy, missions, the marketplace, even my own _bed_! Is there _anywhere _you won't follow me?!" Iruka seethed from the doorway where he stood, door open. He pointed out, an obvious gesture for his most unwelcome intruder, "Get out. Of my house. Now."

"Not until you say you love me." Kakashi smiled smugly.

Iruka quickly and decisively stalked across the room, snatched Kakashi by the front of his jacket, and hauled him outside before shoving him down the stairs. He quickly slammed the door and clicked the locks. Then he turned around.

"Now, if I didn't know better I'd almost think you were trying to hurt me." Kakashi clicked his tongue in a chastising manner, appearing back into the room with his arms crossed and shaking his head.

"Then you really are dumber than you look." Iruka growled, "What part of personal privacy don't you get?"  
"The part where I've already seen you naked?"

"Get out of my house!"

**Right Next Door**

"Wow, do they have any idea how thin these walls are?" Izumo grinned, ear pressed against his living room wall while Iruka roared at Kakashi.

"Not that they need to be." Kotetsu snorted.

"Ruru-oto's got the lungs of a trumpeting elephant." Anko agreed with a snicker.

They were all holding a war room in Kotetsu and Izumo's apartment, because it was oh-so-continently located directly next to Iruka's. They all had their ears plastered against the wall they shared with Iruka's living room, where Kakashi and Iruka were going at it again.

"Can you imagine what it's gonna be like when they make up? It's gonna be like free audio porn 24 hours a day!" Kotetsu chimed gleefully.

"Well, Iruka-kun has school." Izumo pointed out with great disappointment.

"Not if we blow it up!" Anko suggested, bright-eyed at the idea of some fun.

"Another time, Ko-chan. If we did that right now, combined with the whole Kakashi thing…Iruka-kun would be so stressed he would explode." Kotetsu reminded her, quite seriously.

Kakashi had only been at their plan for four short days, but Iruka was already fast approaching Burning Point on the ITS, or 'Iruka Temper Scale'. There was Irritation, Annoyance, Anger, Rage, Wrath, Fury, Burning Point, and Revenge. In the old days, it had taken little or nothing to hit Revenge—it was what had given Iruka his fearsome reputation as a prankster. Now though, Iruka had mellowed somewhat, and he generally didn't go much higher than Wrath on the ITS, though his Wrath was still something to be feared. Hell, Iruka's Anger setting alone was something to be feared.

"Would you stop screwing around and just get out?! I've had enough of your bullshit for one day!" Iruka roared.

"Man, Ruru-oto's got more of a mouth on him than I remember…takes a lot to really bring it out. You think he's past Wrath yet?" Anko questioned.

"Nah. I think he's still on Rage." Izumo shook his head.

"He's definitely beyond Anger, but he's not quite at Wrath or Fury." Izumo agreed.

"It's only been four days."

"Yeah. I'd only give him another day or two tops though."

"Agreed. He just needs to realize that it isn't a game."

"And that Kakashi isn't gonna quit."

"Four days may not be quite enough to shake that belief, but five, maybe six…"

"Definitely. That'll make him realize-"

"That it's not a game-"

"And Kakashi's for real-"

"And then they'll be in love again-"

"And we'll get our audio porn back!" They both chirped happily.

"You know I'm moving in with you guys, right?" Anko grinned ferally.

"Of course." Kotetsu nodded knowingly.

"We don't use the second bedroom anyway." Izumo shrugged.

"…you two…?" Anko's eyes widened like saucers.

"Uh…" Kotetsu looked at Izumo.

"…duh." They both gave her a weird look.

"Ohmigod."

"Are you blind?" Kotetsu asked seriously.  
"We've made out in front of you…" Izumo started counting.

"At least a hundred times." Kotetsu waved him off.

"Not to mention we finish each other's sentences-"

"All the freaking time."  
"Annoys some people.  
"Never phased you much though."

"Figured that meant you knew."  
"And the snogging."

"Well, that was obvio-"

"Shut up!" Anko and Iruka roared at the same time, resulting in an echoing effect.

"What?" All offending parties, on both sides of the wall, chimed at once.

"You two are the best friends I've ever known! I figured you just made out, just cause…I don't know. We're shinobi, we do weird shit all the time; us especially! I didn't think about it." Anko shrugged.

"Obviously."

"Do you care?"  
"Well…" Anko paused, finger to her mouth, thinking. "S'pose not. It's just…weird."

"We'll help you get Ibiki!" Kotetsu suggested helpfully.

"If you want, that is." Izumo added.

"But we know you want." Kotetsu made a sexy little move with his hips.

"Well, duh, but it's nice to ask." Izumo rolled his eyes.

"And then we can have foursomes!" Kotetsu brightened.

"Yeah!" Izumo cheered.

"We'll, sixsomes really. If Karuka's doing it next door, we'll hear them too." Kotetsu snickered.

"Deal." Anko grinned.

~.~.~.~.~

"Look, why won't you just leave me alone?!" Iruka yelled.

"Because I love you, Ruka, and I know you love me too." Kakashi smiled, "Just admit it already, and the game ends."

Shit.

Kakashi winced; wrong choice of words, he knew it already, even before Iruka snapped out his response.

"See?! There you go again, always playing games! This is another game too, even you admit it! Running around, saying you lo-have feelings for me, you're just playing the game! And I'm fucking sick of games!"

"Me too! I didn't mean this was a game, Ruka, I didn't. I just meant all the back and forth, and the confusion, frustration, it would be over. Because I _know _you love me. It's the only reason I haven't found an exploding tag on the back of my head; I know you're annoyed with me, and I get that. But you still love me. You know you do. Why won't you admit it, love?"

"D-don't call me that!"

"And why the hell not?"  
"You don't mean it and you're pissing me off!"  
"Ah, see, now we're getting somewhere." Kakashi's face softened, "Is that what this is about? You just don't think I mean it?"

"…shut up. How could you mean it? It's ridiculous." Iruka scoffed, more to himself than to Kakashi as he turned to walk away.

"What?" Kakashi's single visible eye turned sharp. He took the sensei's wrist and spun him around. "You're kidding me, right? That can't be what this is about."  
"What? Let go."

"No! Are you telling me you're doing this because you don't think I _could_ mean it, not that I don't?"  
"Of course you couldn't! You're the fucking Copy Nin for God's sake!" Iruka snapped suddenly, violently twisting to get out of Kakashi's grip.

Kakashi was suddenly silent. So Iruka continued.

"I'm supposed to believe that all of a sudden the great Sharingan no Kakashi's in love with some chunnin? It's bullshit and we both know it! Even Tsunade and the ANBU and Kotetsu and Izumo and Anko know it! It's ridiculous and impossible and not going to happen, no matter how much I want it to!"

Iruka clamped a hand over his mouth instantly.

"I didn't mean that. I hate you. You're annoying and a pervert and you don't like me and this is all just a big game and-"

"And who exactly are you convincing here?" Kakashi added quietly at last.

"You! You don't get it! I'm not falling for your charm anymore!"

"So you admit I have charm?" Kakashi gave a quirk of a smile.

"Of course you do! You're the fucking Copy Nin, you have charm. You have looks and you're mysterious and you could have anyone. You wouldn't settle for me." Iruka looked away.

"Are you seriously telling me you believe that?" Kakashi's eyes searched Iruka's face.

"Of course I do. How could I believe anything else?" Iruka scoffed, "Just…don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't do this! I'm asking for one simple favor; just to end your games and kick you out of my life."

"That's hardly a simple favor, considering how I feel about you." Kakashi's voice was quieter; less insistent, more simple. Honest.

"Yeah well, it's not easy on me either!" Iruka turned now, glaring, "You're right, okay? I might have maybe, possibly thought at some point that I might have loved you. Are you happy? Well that's just grand, because now I have to get rid of you, and you're not making it any easier!"

"Then don't do it!" Kakashi's voice was almost pleading.

"I have to! You won't grow up and admit it's a game because your childish pride won't let you, and I'm left to just try and forget about one of the best weeks of my life!"

"Me too." Kakashi went quieter again.

"What?"

"Me too. It was the best week of my life too. Not that my life's usually sunshine and rainbows." Kakashi laughed softly, "But…it was amazing. You're amazing. And you know why the week was amazing? Because I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you, and I'm not going to stop saying it. I'm not going to give up. Sooner or later, you're going to have to realize that this is not and never was a game. I wouldn't do that to you; I love you."

"Stop saying that!"  
"No! I mean it, Iruka! I mean it with all of my heart, don't you get that? I don't give a shit about Jounin, chunnin, strength, title, I don't care. It's all bullshit anyway! You're Umino Iruka. You're a mischievous, insanely hot sensei who scares the daylights out of pre-genin and Jounin alike. You have a smile that lights up your face and eyes that remind me why I take pride in my village. You have a will of fire in you that no one can extinguish, and I am damn _honored _to know you, much less love you."  
Iruka's eyes went very wide, and his mouth was slightly agape.

"I love you very, very much whether or not you choose to believe it. And I'm going to be here as long as I possibly can, and I'm going to come home from every mission and look for you so I can see your smile and know that everything's going to be alright. I want your face to be the first thing I see when I wake up in the morning, because now that I've had the safe, secure feeling, I don't think I can live without it. I-"

Soft lips pressed against Kakashi's masked ones, and a warm feeling spread through him. Iruka was kissing him! Almost as soon as it began, it ended, though the sparks remained, dancing across his lips like fire in the woods.

"I love you too."


	14. Chapter 14

Kotetsu and Izumo skipped into the mission room, cheerful grins lighting up their faces.

"What's got you two so happy?" Iruka chuckled in amusement.

"Audio porn!" Kotetsu chirped.

"…" Iruka closed his eyes tightly, then turned to Izumo, "And you?"

"Me too!"

"…I'm surrounded by degenerates."

"Aw, don't be like that! You should be happy too, Iruka-kun!" Kotetsu grinned.

"Yeah! Though, maybe not…"

"True. I mean, it's gotta be pretty painful…"

"Hm?" Iruka raised a confused eyebrow.

"I mean, I don't even know how you managed to drag yourself to work…"

"I'd have called in sick for work without a doubt."

"Izumo, you call in sick if it's raining." Iruka rolled his eyes, "Or if you try a new kind of food. Or if—"

"Okay, okay, I know, I call in a lot." Izumo pouted.

"Yeah, but even _you _should have called in today, Iruka-kun!" Kotetsu protested.

"Oh really?" Iruka didn't bother looking up; there was no point in asking what they were talking about, they'd get to the point…eventually. For now, Iruka continued examining the mission requests.

"Yeah. I mean, did you even sleep last night?"

Iruka froze.

"Kami only knows how you're sitting down."

"We already knew you were like a stamina champion…"

"But we're mighty impressed with Kakashi."

"Who'd have thought he could keep up, huh?"

"Are you doubting me, hm?" A new voice interjected.

Kotetsu and Izumo jumped a good foot in the air, and whirled around with wide eyes. Kakashi was standing behind them, one eyebrow raised. Iruka gave a small smile, but the duo was too busy pleading for their lives to notice.

"Eh heh heh…no, no, just saying…"

"Iruka-kun's just very talented at endurance…"

"That much I know." Kakashi smirked under his mask, but it went unnoticed by the duo, "The question is, how do _you _know?"

"Ehhh…"

"Alright," Kakashi cracked his knuckles, "Which one do I have to maim, Ruka?"

"Wedidn'tdoanything!"

"Youguysarejustreallyloud!"

"We'rerightnextdoor!"

"Itwasn'tourfault!" They pled in unison.

"Kashi-chan, play nice!" Anko chided as she entered the mission room.

Kakashi just groaned at the nickname, and Kotetsu and Izumo raced over to hover near Anko for protection.

"Good morning to you too, Anko." Iruka sighed.

"So, I hear the make-up sex was smokin'…now how in the seven hells are you sitting down? Ko and Zumo said they fell asleep before you did, and they were up til like 3 in the morning. You can't tell me _that _didn't hurt." Anko laughed.

"…thank you, Anko, for sufficiently destroying any sense of personal privacy I ever had delusions of." Iruka groaned, "And I'm fine, thanks."

"Oh puh-lease. No way." Anko narrowed her eyes, then snatched Iruka's papers away from him and dangled them high.

"Give them back." Iruka warned, but didn't make any moves to get up and grab them back.

"If you're so perfectly "fine", Ruru-oto, then why dontcha come and get em?" Anko taunted knowingly.

Iruka glared at her, but she just whistled innocently, unfazed. After a moment, it became quite obvious he was incapable of doing so. Anko just grinned wider.

"…you suck." Iruka dropped his head with a thud on his desk.

Kakashi smirked.

"Jerk." Iruka muttered, knowing exactly what his face would look like if he were to look up.

"I love you." Kakashi chirped happily.

"Love you too, you smug bastard."

"…so, just for the record…" Anko drawled, putting Iruka's papers back on his desk with a satisfied grin, "I was totally and completely right?"

"Um…no. The first thing you did when we dated was throw popcorn at us!" Iruka snorted.

"Which was totally my sign of approval." Anko scoffed.

"I was supposed to know that…how?"

"Duh. Isn't that what you throw at weddings?"  
"That's rice. And we didn't get married, we kissed."

"Whatever. Same thing."

"…I pray for Ibiki's sanity." Iruka shook his head.

"Excuse you?" Anko shot him a glare.

"Nothing." Iruka chirped innocently.

"Wanna try that again?"  
"Well, if that poor soul really does like you, he's in for a hell of a ride."

"Ibiki likes me?!" Anko shrieked.

"…seriously?" Iruka turned to the others, "She seriously is unaware of this?"

"She didn't even know _we_ were going out." Kotetsu snorted.

"You think she caught on to Mr. Master of Subtle? Hell no." Izumo laughed.

"Yes, Anko, he likes you." Iruka rolled his eyes, "What am I, a matchmaker?"

"I'd say you did a pretty good job with me." Kakashi grinned.

"It's not matchmaking if it's for yourself." Iruka laughed.

"Hey, that one was all us!" Kotetsu protested.

"Yeah, we called it waaay back." Izumo nodded.

"At the chunnin exams, wasn't it?" Kotetsu tilted his head.

"Yep. When Kakashi saved Iruka from that guard guy." Izumo reminded him.

"It was super cute. Plus, he didn't even know it was Iruka."

"Instinctive, I'd bet anything." Izumo nodded knowingly.

"Totally. He probably felt a deep tug within his soul…" Kotetsu pressed his hands to his chest dramatically.

"And he just knew he had to save you!" Izumo grinned.

"I'd forgotten about that, actually." Iruka looked thoughtful, "You did save me from that guard, didn't you? I remember…I was in henge as Shisou."

"Yeah…I remember how surprised I was that you were behind the prank." Kakashi chuckled, "I had a very different impression of you at first, sensei."

"Oh really?" Iruka raised an eyebrow in amusement.

"Really. But I'm glad I was got a chance to see you in different light." Kakashi smiled softly.

"So!" Anko abruptly interrupted the moment without hesitation, "When's the Jounin Exams? You ready yet, Ruru-oto?"

Kakashi and Iruka exchanged a glance.

"I suppose I am. And it's what…six more days?" Iruka questioned.

"Yeah…Ruka, I think we should go train." Kakashi made eye contact with Iruka, trying to send a mental message.

"I agree. Only six days left, huh? Wow." Iruka chuckled, playing along, then turned to Kotetsu, "Mind watching the desk for me?"

"Yeah, no problem. You need to go 'train'." Kotetsu winked.

"C'mon Ruka." Kakashi gestured for Iruka to follow.

When the sensei didn't move, Kakashi raised an eyebrow.

"It's your own fucking fault." Iruka just glared, unwilling to stand up. Kakashi instantly understood.

Laughing, Kakashi helped Iruka up. Then, with a feisty grin, he pulled the chunnin into his arms bridal style, and disappeared in a poof of smoke. The last thing the others heard was Iruka's enraged shouts.

~.~.~.~.~

"Not that I don't trust your improvisational skills, but do have a plan for the Jounin Exams?" Kakashi asked as they reappeared at the bridge.

"Of course. I'll just fail. Plenty of people fail it, usually not even on purpose." Iruka shrugged, "I'll be fine."

"Ah, no, see…Ruka, have you ever been to the Jounin Exams?"

"Kashi?"

"Yeah?"

"You can put me down now."

"I'm okay."

"Funny."

Kakashi let Iruka down with a grin, and they sat on the edge of the bridge, overlooking the water.

"But I haven't been to the Exams, no. I assumed they were like the Chunnin Exams, at least somewhat. Am I wrong?" Iruka questioned.

"Well…not exactly. They just have…higher stakes. The Forest of Death is child's play—literally. The first part of the Jounin Exam is in Area 73, and it's a lot less about getting each other's scrolls, and a whole lot more about taking out enemy nin." Kakashi warned, "The Jounin Exam is just another way for the village's to show off their forces and have a mock-war."

"Area 73, huh? I've been there a few times. Nasty place." Iruka grimaced.

"Yeah. You have to survive two weeks locked in, then they open the gates and you have to get out within two days. And there's no break like in the Chunnin Exam—you go straight from exiting Area 73 to your first round match. You fight whoever came out right before or right after you; they could be in better or worse condition than you, it's all up to chance. It's tournament style; you fight again and again until someone wins, but everyone's considered, as long as they have at least one match."

"How open are they to cheating?" Iruka asked, a thoughtful look on his face.

"It's encouraged. There was a guy back when I tested that snuck a barrier scroll and supplies into Area 73 a day or two before the test, then set up the barrier and camped out in peace for the remainder of the test. They use him as an example to this day, though they did amp up security. Why?"

"Oh, no particular reason." Iruka grinned.

Before Kakashi could say a word, the unthinkable happened.

"My Eternal Rival! I thought I heard your Melodious Voice! How are you and Your Fair Iruka on this Fine and Beautiful Day?" Gai boomed, bursting through the trees.

"Run, save yourself!" Kakashi whispered dramatically to Iruka.

"Be nice." Iruka elbowed him lightly, though he couldn't resist a snicker. He quickly composed himself, "We're fine, Gai-san. And how are you?"

"No, don't ask him tha—!" Kakashi's visible eye went wide, and he leapt to cover Iruka's mouth, but it was too late.

"I am doing Wonderfully Well on this Gorgeous Morning, Fair Iruka! I began my Long Day of Hard Work and Determination with some Strenuous Exercises and a few Laps Around Konoha! However, on this Beautiful Day however, they did not seem to Train and Strengthen my muscles with the usual Grueling Pain! In fact, it only felt like I was wearing 200lb weights, instead of 500lb! Can you imagine? No, that would not do! So I upped my Heavy Weights as much as I could, and now things are Back to Usual, eh? Anyway, after I completed my Arduous and Rigorous Morning Exercises, I continued my Morning Routine and went Grocery Shopping With the Beautiful and Kind Shizune-san! She helped me fill out my Cleansing and Pure Diet of Health, supplying me with many Juicy Fruits and Crunchy Vegetables! Alas, the Wonderful and Sweet Shizune-san had to leave early to help our Hard-Working Hokage do her Honorable and Proud Duty serving our village. It saddened me to see her go, but I suppose it is what is best, ne? That aside, I continued my Morning Routine and stopped by…"

Gai continued to babble, completely unaware that he was now talking to two quite unfortunate logs.


End file.
